How to Spot a Manboy

Are they men or manboys? You can't tell just by looking.

A manboy is a grown male who, due to his age, should be a man, yet because of his actions, he seems more like a boy. There's that rhyme: "You can tell the men from the boys by the price of their toys." Sadly, it ain't so simple. Manhood is determined less by income, physical strength and even age and more by integrity, self-awareness and life experience. I often hear women make complaints like, "I can't find a man who is serious about a relationship" and "Men never grow up." I assure you, ladies, all the good men are not taken. The world is full of wonderful, mature, emotionally available men--you just need to know how to weed through the manboys. So how can you tell if your guy is a boy in man's clothing? Follow these tips!

Things You'll Need

• Keen observation skills
• Human beings of the male variety

Instructions

1. Look past looks. A chiseled jaw and fancy suit do not a man make. Often manboys rely on their good looks to get women instead of developing their character. Think of good looks as an accessory, not a necessity. If you find that you are only attracted to guys who are classically good looking, dig a little deeper. You may be surprised to discover that attraction is not all about superficial beauty and that chemistry can develop over time.

2. Watch the clock. If he says he will pick you up at 5:00, does he arrive at 5:00? Or does he show up late with a litany of excuses? A man honors his word and does what he says he will do, plain and simple.

3. Meet his friends. We surround ourselves with like-minded people. If your guy's friends are obnoxious, disrespectful, egotistic, rude, lazy, apathetic drug addicts, chances are your guy is the same. If you haven't seen this side of him yet, it's because he's still on his best behavior. His true colors will break through eventually.

4. Ask about his mother. The relationship a man has with his mother can predict a lot about the relationship he will have with you.

5. Kiss him. A man is comfortable in his body, and kissing him is enlivening. He pays attention to your physical responses and also respects your boundaries. A manboy is monotonous in his kisses and awkward in his body. He can be pushy with sex by trying to move things faster than you want.

6. Look at your phone. A manboy's favorite way of communicating is text messaging, and will rarely, if ever, call to talk.

7. Be direct about your needs and watch his response. Maybe you want him to bring you flowers. Maybe you want more passion in bed. Maybe you want him to give you a little bit of space. Whatever your needs are, always speak them clearly. If he is a man, he will rise to the occasion. If he is a manboy, he will stonewall, get defensive or will have totally forgotten your request three minutes after you make it.

8. Give him room to succeed. Sometimes the problem is not that the man is an apathetic manboy, but that the woman is an overbearing control freak. If you want your man to take charge in your relationship, you have to step back and allow him to do things his way and in his own time. If he does take charge, be appreciative; do not scold or nag him if he doesn't do things in the exact way that you want. If he doesn't make any effort, then perhaps he is a manboy after all.

9. Stop thinking in clichés. It's a misnomer that if a man does not want to get married then he is an immature manboy. Just because you want to commit doesn't mean he wants to. There are plenty of mature, intelligent, kind men who simply aren't interested in this type of union. What matters is the way he communicates his intentions. If he is upfront, then you know he's a man and you are free to decide whether to remain involved with him or to look for a man who shares your relationship ideals. On the other hand, if he tells you he wants to be with you, but flirts heavily with other women or sneaks to strip clubs after work, you know you've got a manboy. Ditch him immediately.

10. Examine your own behavior. If you continually attract manboys into your life when you really want a man, you'd better examine your behavior and the messages you're sending out.

11. Trust your instincts. If you get that indefinable bad feeling in your gut, pay attention! Always listen to your instincts. If a guy makes you uneasy for any reason (or even for no reason at all), he is definitely not the one for you, even if he is a man.