How to Write a Letter Saying Sorry

Everyone makes mistakes. Knowing how to apologize for these mistakes is a vital skill if you want to have lasting friendships. It is easy to tell someone you are sorry. It is not always easy to make a person believe you truly are. Handwritten letters may seem old-fashioned, but they indicate you want to take extra time to apologize fully and sincerely. Writing the letter by hand will also make it easier to express what you mean without the possible misunderstandings that can occur with hurriedly written emails.

Instructions

1. Make a list of things you wish to cover in the letter. If your apology is about many things rather than one mistake, list all of these things. You may need to refer to this list when drafting the letter.

2. Write a rough draft of the letter. You should get all your thoughts down on paper at this point. Don't worry about style, grammar and punctuation yet. That will come later. First, simply get it all down.

3. Apologize succinctly in the first paragraph of your letter. Apologizing early in the letter puts the person at ease. If she is still upset or angry, she may not even read the letter otherwise.

4. Describe the actions or words you are sorry about doing or saying. This shows the letter recipient that you take responsibility for your mistakes. Acknowledge, specifically, what you did or said that was wrong.

5. Explain why you did what you did. Just make sure not to fill your whole letter with these kinds of reasons or you will sound like you are avoiding responsibility. If you do state your reasoning, make sure you say clearly that you do take responsibility for it. Let her know that you are not trying to excuse what you did. If you have no reason, state that, too.

6. Describe why you will never do that again. Express the feelings that you have for your friend. Let her know that you will never hurt her again if you can possibly help it.

7. Repeat once more, at the end of the letter, that you are genuinely sorry. The end of your letter should be succinct, yet keep the friendly tone.

8. Show the letter to an objective friend and ask for her opinion. It is not easy to be objective about one’s own letter. A friend should be able to let you know if something you wrote sounds condescending, insincere or overly apologetic.

Tips & Warnings

• Use a natural tone in your letter. If you try to write too formally, your letter will sound cold and insincere.

• Do not ramble. You want to apologize, not bore the person to death.

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish