How to Create an Effective Domestic Violence Victim's Safety Plan
Begin planning for your safety now if you are in a violent relationship and know that if you are staying, the violence will get worse. While safety plans for victims of domestic violence do not ensure safety, a good plan can help keep you safe while you are staying and increase your safety when you are leaving. Formulating this plan helps you focus on those things that are most important for you and your children now, while you are in the process of leaving and after you have gone.
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Things You'll Need
- Safe place
- Legal copies of all birth certificates
- Order of protection
- Social security cards
- School and immunization records for children
- Driver's license and vehicle information
- Insurance information
- Passport
- Medication and prescription
- Banking and credit cards
- Checks or checkbook
- Clothing
- Food
- Drinks
Instructions
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Choose a trusted person, if possible, to help you. Talk to that person about what you are doing and ask for her support. She can help you implement some of the following steps.
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Keep copies of the listed items in your safe place or with your safe person. Don't keep them in your purse or try to grab them every time you have to leave.
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Decide where you are going to go if you have to leave your home because of violence and if you will call someone to help you. Know who that person is and talk to him about how he can help, and share the details of your plan with him.
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Talk to your neighbors, if you are comfortable. Ask them to call 911 if they are suspicious or hear something happening at your home. Work out a code so they know if they need to call.
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Talk to your employer if it is safe and work out a plan for time off for shelter, court or other related reasons. Give them a copy of your restraining order, and work out a workplace safety plan for what to do if the abuser calls or comes to the workplace
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Stash some cash with your trusted person, or in a safe place, and continue building that reserve as possible. If you have your own credit card, have that stashed someplace safe or with your safe person as well.
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Work with your children on their own safety. Tell them they need to take care of themselves if something happens. Decide with them if it is best to escape or just go to a safe place in the house until the violence ends. Talk to them about where they will go if they leave the house.
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Make sure the children know how to dial 911 in case of an emergency. Talk to them about what will happen when they call.
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Decide on a target date for leaving, if this is your ultimate goal. Having gone through the steps will give you an idea of how much time you need. Put this date in your plan.
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Visit a local domestic violence intervention center for help and information in finalizing your plan if possible.
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Meet with your trusted person to be sure she has seen your plan, understands your goals and knows her role.
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Tips & Warnings
Trust someone. It is hard, but what is harder is doing it alone.
Make sure that your trusted source understands that they can never divulge your plan to anyone.
If you open a savings account, do not have the mail sent to your home address. Find out if your trusted person can receive the mail for you.
Knowing if your employer has a domestic violence workplace safety plan will help you know the extent of help you can get from them. If they do, talk to the point person about your options.
To help your children be able to talk to emergency personnel, have them draw a picture of the house with the numbers and address, and post it near the phone so they can direct 911.
Prepare for the future by following your plan, but recognize that unplanned events may arise and change your plan. Knowing when you are leaving helps give you confidence and increased safety, even if you have to make a sudden change in plans.
Be cautious about visiting websites from your home computer. The abuser probably monitors your website movement. Going to your local library or another safe place, if possible, will help keep you safer.
If you are planning your escape, do not share that with the children in advance, as they may, without intending harm, share that with the abuser.
Keeping a journal can be wise, but also dangerous. If you keep a journal, make sure you have it in a safe place where it cannot be found by the abuser, or keep it outside the house (at a trusted friend or family members). Journals can be used as evidence in your favor, especially for those victims who have no other form of evidence, like law enforcement or medical records.
If the batterer threatens to kill you, take the threat seriously. The most lethal batterers are those who have 1) threatened suicide and 2) threatened homicide. Never underestimate the lethality of an abuser.
