How to Discipline a Child That Hits

While not always easy, it is possible to discipline a child that hits. Hitting is not only an act that can cause harm it can lead to other more aggressive behaviors. It is so important to remain calm during these times and curb the behavior as quickly as possible.

Things You'll Need

• Patience

Instructions

1. TRY TO ANTICIPATE A CHILDS BEHAVIOR

   One of the first steps to disciplining a child that hits is to recognize what triggers the hitting and how the child initially reacts. For example, if the child hits because he/she is frustrated, observe how long it takes for him/her to react violently. Try to recognize if the child hits out of anger, fear, frustration, happiness...

2. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THEIR ACTIVITIES

   Once you have a grasp on what kinds of things aggravate the hitting behavior, do your best to avoid situations that might trigger hitting. That may not be possible so when he/she is put into the situation watch him/her very closely. For example, if the child hits when he/she has to share your attention or a toy with another child, make sure you always have an eye on him/her during their interactions with others.

   Try to intervene during times of frustration before they escalate and make sure to communicate to your child how he/she can appropriately communicate what he/she needs or wants.

3. HOW TO REACT AND DISCIPLINE

   If your child resorts to hitting it is very important not to reactively hit them back. If a child sees that hitting out of anger is an appropriate reaction from you, they will NEVER learn that hitting is not okay for them.

   If your child does hit immediately pick them up and move them away from the other child. Inform them that hitting is not okay. It hurts their friends. Tell them that they must sit still with you for approximately 30 seconds for each year of their age. (i.e., 2 years old = 1 minute)

   While they are sitting with you talk to them calmly about why they hit and what they can do instead.

   "Did you hit Erin because she wouldn't let you play with that toy? Next time that happens, instead of hitting, you need find another toy to play with or talk to me, okay?"

   Younger children may not understand all of what you are saying but it's important for you stay calm and for them to understand that you are disappointed in their behavior and that when they hit they don't get to play with their friend for a few minutes.

4. EXTREME CASES

   If you whisk your child away during an intense confrontation and they only get more aggravated it may be necessary for you to use more extreme measures. If this is the case, hold the child firmly in your arms and talk to them in a calm voice. Repeat over and over that they need to calm down if they want to play again and try following step three once things simmer down.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that discipline takes time and patience.

• Try to let the parents of your child's playmates know of your child's tendency to hit and what you are doing about it so that they too can react appropriately if you aren't around.

• Do not ever hit in response to your own frustrations with your child. There is nothing wrong with placing your child in a safe place while you take a moment to gather your bearings.