How to Camp with a Hipster

So you want to go camping, and your hipster isn't into it. Follow these easy steps to ensure fun is had by most.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Camping supplies
• Hipster supplies
• Cheap beer
• A hipster

1. You have to convince the hipster to go camping. This is no easy feat. But it can be done using a rapid-fire sales pitch technique. First, assure the hipster that camping is the most ironic way he can spend his weekend. Play up the green and sustainable aspects of camping. And finally, wave a PBR under his nose until the cheap beer vapors seep into his brain. Once the hipster acquiesces, you can reward him with the beer, and promise there are many more where that came from.
2. Select a campsite within a two-hour drive from the city. Hipsters get nervous if they venture too far from their urban comfort zones. Ideally, the campsite should have ample and clean bathroom facilities. Shower areas are best, as hipsters often spend hours preening to achieve the perfect just-rolled-in-from-the-gutter look.
3. Hipsters are uneasy in nature. Assure their comfort by utilizing the best supplies possible. Air mattresses, blankets and pillows are a nice touch. Bring creature comforts – a French press is crucial. Select plenty of vegetarian food options for your discerning hipster. And of course, don’t skimp on the PBR/High Life/cheap beer of their choice.
4. Allow the hipster to bring his ipod and have accompanying speakers. A hipster in charge of music is a happy hipster. Don’t complain about the Sparklehorse.
5. Don’t make fun of the hipster for wearing Chucks and skinny jeans all weekend. They don’t know any better.
6. Unhappy hipster. If the hipster is your boyfriend or girlfriend, give them lots of love. Every few hours ought to shut them up.

Tips & Warnings

• In a pinch, if a hipster starts complaining, ask him to tell you about his least favorite movies and music. Again.
• Campgrounds often have zero cell phone reception. It may be best to withhold this information from the hipster before the big weekend. And act as surprised and pissed as they do when they find out.