Things You'll Need:
- Patience
- Love
- Care
- Empathy
- Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Husband/Wife/ (applies to all)
-
Step 1
angry couples solve nothing..Never be angry at the same time.
Why this is important: Many fights are petty and should be solved quickly. However they do not get resolved right away because both people are angry, and the argument quickly escalates to include practically every other little problem. -
Step 2
the only right time to yellNever yell at each other unless the House is on Fire.
Why this is important: No one likes getting yelled at. And over time if yelling is a constant, it isn't taken seriously anymore. Save the yelling for only the most important/most serious times. After all, most arguments are settled when the couple is calm, and TALKING it out. -
Step 3
Listening is important.If one of you has to win an argument, let it be the other one.
Why this is important: One of you must be the voice of reason. Whether it's the guy or the girl, it doesn't matter. As long as one individual lets the other win, can the cooling-off process begin.
Tip: Sometimes letting the significant half win shows you are understanding, plus it shows this isn't a competition of who's always right. -
Step 4
save your criticism for another timeIf you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
Tip: No one likes to be told they're wrong. So unless you downright have to say it, keep the criticism to yourself. And if you must say something, do it during a time set aside for the two of you to communicate(so there won't be resentment). -
Step 5
Wasted money does not come back..so stop talking about itNever bring up mistakes of the past.
Why not: Bringing up mistakes from the past shows you can't let something go. It may even show that you have a grudge. Bringing up mistakes of the past to justify, such as wasted money, or wasted opportunities..even if it is to prove a point will never truly end an argument. Remember: Love is never resentful. -
Step 6
he who carries the burden of the world..carries it aloneNeglect the whole world rather than one another.
Why: Intimacy and the closeness that a couple shares can be one of the pinnacles of a great relationship. But this takes up time and a great amount of consideration. Do not be so sidetracked by the world you live in, with your priorities and all, to see the most important person in your life is right in front of you. -
Step 7
the aftermath..Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
Tip: THIS STEP IS VERY DIFFICULT! Both of you need to be willing to listen, but sometimes if the argument stings like a fresh wound, this won't happen. One of you must budge and give in (see Step 3). At the same time the significant other must be open to apology, because if he/she isn't, then all your efforts go down the drain.
(thanks to taskeinc for the input) -
Step 8
At least, once everyday, try to say one kind complimentary thing to your partner.
Why: Everyone loves compliments. It brightens up their whole day. You can provide that spark just by saving one nice thing to him/her (AT LEAST..but more is better, as long as you're genuine) -
Step 9
a sorry with flowersWhen you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
Tip: Admitting wrongdoing shows that you are a bigger person. It shows maturity, and above all it shows that your relationship is very important
***A nice firm hug is also a good way to apologize if you're not much of a talker***
Comments
1citygirl said
on 1/19/2009 Good article.
MommyTeach said
on 1/17/2009 We do all of this, and it is true! Great article 5*
Greatfunmoms said
on 10/29/2008 Good article! However sometime those tips are not easy to do.
shannonny said
on 10/13/2008 What a ton of wisdom packed into one well-written article! Thank you for taking the time.
Susanh said
on 9/25/2008 Great job on explaining how to have a happy marriage. From someone who has been married 13+ years, it really is possible to have a fulfilled and blessed marriage.