How to Talk to a Child About the Death of a Pet in Terms They Can Understand

For children, the death of a pet dog or cat can be devastating. Pets become an integral part of the family, and for children a pet is more like a friend than an animal, which makes it harder for them to understand the concept of losing their pet. How you talk to your child about the loss of their pet and how you handle the pet's remains can make the difference in your child's grief, and can help them learn about death and dying in a healthy way.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Immediately remove the animal from the street, or contact animal control to remove the body for you if your pet was killed by a motorist near or in front of your home.

2. Pick a comfortable and pleasant space in your home or outdoors, where you can sit with your child while speaking with her about the loss of her pet.

3. Explain to your child that his pet was killed by an automobile--if that was the case--without going into any of the details about how the dog or cat looked or exactly where you found them. This will help you ease the burden of loss and grief your child will naturally feel.

4. Take the pet's body, if you have it, and place it in a pretty pillow case or sheet. Plan a burial ceremony for the pet with your child. Let your child pick out a song, flowers, a toy or other item her pet liked, and give her several options as to where the family could bury the animal.

5. Explain to your child that the part of his pet that played with him and loved him left its body. Tell your child, if you are religious, that the spirit and soul of the pet has left and gone to heaven where the angels, or God, can take care of the animal.

6. If your pet has an illness or disease that is causing the animal to be in pain or to suffer needlessly, explain to your child that her pet is hurting and that the vet cannot make the animal better. Whether you are having the pet euthanized or will be letting it die naturally, once the pet has passed away, tell your child that their pet will not have to suffer or be in pain anymore, and that in heaven, or in death, there will be no pain and no sickness or disease.

7. Consider letting your child go along if you have to take a pet to the veterinarian's to be euthanized. Most veterinarians will give you the option of allowing your child an opportunity to hold his pet or be by its side during this process. Explain to your child that his pet will just go to sleep and will no longer suffer the pain of the disease or accident that hurt them. This will give your child a chance to say goodbye and to see that his pet will no longer suffer.

8. Encourage your child to talk to her pet, whether it is in a bedtime prayer, while visiting the place the animal is buried at or when she just feels like talking to the pet. Explain that her pet's spirit is nearby and that the animal is watching over them from heaven in order to help keep them safe. If you have the pet buried at a pet cemetery, let your child go along and allow her to help plan and carry out any memorial service.

Tips & Warnings

• Some states have now passed laws making it illegal to bury a pet in your yard. Check to see what the law in your state is. You may have to look into having your pet buried in a designated area or pet cemetery.