How to Deal With a Control Freak

Most of us have dealt with a control freak at some point, whether at work or at home. A control freak has a driving need to run the show and call all the shots. This insecure individual is terrified of being vulnerable and feels a need to dominate all situations. Sometimes this can cause unnecessary stress for others. These steps will better prepare you for your encounters with the menace in your life.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Remain calm. Understand that a control freak creates tension for others. When he becomes agitated, stay calm and focused with a comfortable distance to keep yourself centered as you communicate. If you get upset due to his behavior, you are joining the fight on his terms--not yours.

2. Exercise patience. A control freak feels the need to be heard. If you participate in the power struggle, you will engage her and make matters worse. Just try to listen carefully, and ask questions to reaffirm that you are listening. She will move on easier this way and calm down. Remember a control freak likes the fight. You don't have to participate in this negative behavior.

3. Play the game. You can let him feel like he is controlling the agenda. But, remember you can control the pace. If you stay calm and focused, you are in control of pacing the conversation.

4. Be kind. Let's face it, a control freak is a pretty paranoid person and is ready to get angry at any given moment. If you kill her with reasonable kindness, you will throw her off. It's great to know you are positively manipulating her for a change.

5. Make demands. Ask the control freak to send you something or do something for you. By requesting something, you turn the finger and show that you are not intimidated or threatened by his negative behavior pattern.

Tips & Warnings

• Understand that you will have a limited effect on a control freak because he is generally angry and afraid to let go.
• Remember that a control freak's behavior isn't personal.

[edieness]

on 6/14/2009 Number four is pretty cool, great article.