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Step 1
Prescribing medication is not a recommended way of dealing with a death. There is no time frame that you must complete your grief in, or any certain way of doing it. Your religious affiliation may suggest certain things that are helpful to deal with the death of a loved one. Jewish families wear kriahs and gather for the anniversary of death at one week, one month, six months and a year. The easiest way to determine what your religion may suggest is to ask your officiant at church. They are used to answering questions about how to deal with grief, so you should not be ashamed to tell them you need help.
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Step 2
Losing someone may make you feel like your world has ended. You need to readjust to life without this person in it. There is no time frame for this. It may only take you six months to look at this person's picture and not be upset. This is normal. Feelings of guilt, anger, shame, helplessness, regret, sleeplessness and anxiousness are normal reactions. You may have these feelings for a year. Speaking of the deceased like they are still a part of your life is normal. Once you have adjusted to the loss, those feelings will subside. If you have feelings of uncontrollable anger or ideas of hurting yourself or others, these are not normal reactions to grief. There are many different support groups and professionals that your local funeral director can guide you to in this case.
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Step 3
Speaking to children about death requires care and understanding. Do not tell them that the person was ill and had togo to heaven. The child then associates illness with going away, and this can cause damage to the child's psyche in later years. Do not tell the child that the deceased is sleeping. Again, this associates a normal occurrence with dying, which can damage the child later in life. Tell the child on their level what has happened. If the child is old enough to know what has happened, most psychologists suggest letting them attend the funeral. This aids in the understanding of the finality of death and the beginning of acceptance. If the child has any questions, answer them as best you can. And the answer 'I don't know" is perfectly acceptable when you honestly don't know. Do not make up stories when you do not know the answer. Children learn acceptance of death from immediate family, so the choices you make now lay a foundation for life.
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Step 4
Speaking with your family or close friends can help to ease the pain of the loved one lost. This will increase your acceptance of life without that person in it. Many families use memorials for remembrance. For instance, if your mother loved the Halloween holiday, you could put together a small gathering on this day. Some funeral homes now offer a Balloon Day, where the families of the recently departed can write the name of their loved one on a balloon and set it off on certain days. The more you can involve yourself with your life, the easier the transition to life without this person will become.
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Step 5
Support can come in many sizes, shapes and forms. There are many groups available online for the grief stricken. You are not alone. Reach out to your family, friends, pastor, funeral director and community. It is your job to be there for them and they will be there for you. You can search the Internet for "Grief Support Groups" in your city for a more informal setting. Your funeral director, even if it has been a year since you have seen him, will be more than willing to guide you to local resources. Your pastor can be of great assistance in dealing with the family situation that may arise after a loved one's death. Regaining control on your life after losing someone is always a difficult task. No one is asking you to forget your loved one, but to remember them and the way they would have wanted you to live.
