How to Help Your Child Deal With the Loss of a Grandparent

Losing a grandparent is difficult at any age. When the loss comes before adulthood it can be especially confusing. Accepting the various stages of your children’s grief and learning ways to help them through the grieving process are crucial during this painful adjustment.

Instructions

How to Help Your Child Deal With the Loss of a Grandparent

1. Give your child the freedom to be honest with his feelings. Remarks like, “Grandma wouldn’t want you to cry” or “I don’t want to talk about it right now” can cause your child to internalize feelings that may come out in unhealthy ways later. Even though it can be painful to watch your child cry or share in a grief that you are probably feeling as well, allowing open communication is the first step in processing the loss of someone so close.

2. Remind your child that the deceased grandparent loved them. After losing a grandparent, a child may wrestle with self-condemnation for such perceived offenses as forgetting Grandpa's birthday. Reinforcing the unconditional love of their grandparent will prove comforting.

3. Assure your child that you aren’t going anywhere. Losing a grandparent can be a scary time for your child. She may wonder who will leave next. You don’t have to make believe that everyone else will live forever. You can reassure your child that you plan to take care of yourself and live a long, healthy life.

4. Pay attention. Watch for changes in appetite, increased proneness to headaches and other physical ailments and isolation. These can be signs of depression that may require serious intervention. By making yourself aware of this, you can prevent dangerous behavior patterns later.

5. Join a grief support group. This is one of the best ways to help your child deal with the loss of a grandparent. Your local hospice can probably give you information on numerous support groups specifically aimed at children who are grieving. It is validating to know that one’s peers share in your child’s loss and that they are not strange or off the mark for experiencing the variety of feelings they face after losing a grandparent.

Tips & Warnings

• Losing a grandparent can be especially confusing to children who don't have the maturity to put a name to their various feelings. Be patient if you notice a sudden onset of rebellion or unprovoked tantrums. This will subside as you support your child through the grieving process that accompanies the loss of a grandparent.