Things You'll Need:
- A spouse wedding ring family members kids friends
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Step 1
If you are determined to ruin your marriage you should definitely have your family over the house all the time. You should surprise your spouse have them over before they even get off work. Whenever your spouse complains about your family being constantly over get upset and slam the door in their face. After you slam the door in their face call your parents and tell them how sleesy your spouse is. Let your family know everything that goes on in your marriage good and bad. You should definitely tell your family secrets before your spouse hears about it. Its always good to have your family members tell your spouse where you are at if you don't come home. Remember the more you do it, the faster your spouse will head for the hills.
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Step 2
Another great way to ruin your marriage is to let your kids sleep in between you and your spouse all the time. To make this work best the kids should sleep right in between you that way your intimacy will die faster than a dead battery. Something else you can do that's an alternative to this technique is get up in the middle of the night and sleep in your children's bed. Make sure your spouse is awake when you get up to go sleep with your kids. This will be very affective that way they can be horny all by themselves. They will have plenty of time to think about sleeping with people from work or in their area. Besides its healthy for a man to have a hard on with no one to relieve him. Don't worry that wont make him think about cheating so continue to sleep with your kids in the bed with you.
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Step 3
I am pretty sure this is a favorite way to ruin your marriage so I will only share briefly about this. You should treat your pets better than your spouse. Let your dogs and cats sleep in the bed with you. Cat piss is romantic and so is a sweaty dog staring at you try to make out with your wife. This is a very popular way to ruin your marriage right here so pay attention. When your spouse is trying to get intimate with you, you should say we can't the dog is looking. You should also kiss your pets more than you kiss your spouse.
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Step 4
Another fantastic way to ruin your marriage is to spend more time with your friends than you do your spouse. Besides if you have them over enough more than likely one of your friends will end up sleeping with your spouse anyway. You should make sure your friends have more income with your spouse than your spouse has with you. This is the perfect set up for an affair. When you hear your spouse say my favorite team is the bears and your friend says that's my favorite team as well your golden. Once your friend has something in common with your spouse you should let them hang out together allot. A different technique you could also use is to never be home. When you do get home talk on the phone until your lips fall off. This works great be in the bedroom with your spouse and get intimate but soon as the phone rings stay on it for about hour. So now that you are equipped with all of the tools you need to ruin a marriage except for a few I didn't share on purpose go ahead and make the divorce rate worse than it already is. Besides the vows you said didn't mean anything anyway right.
Comments
kallen said
on 10/7/2008 Best Article Ever!!!! That was great, I was laughing through the entire thing! Thanks for telling me how to ruin my marriage. I will start working on this right away!
AudreyBrown said
on 9/16/2008 ahaha, AWESOME article! Sometimes knowing what not to do is better than knowing what to do.
neptune said
on 9/10/2008 wow ....i admit i couldn't stop laughing as im guilty of so much... makes me look at myself...and if i can learn how to give you 5 stars that would be great...im trying but the stars arn't lighting up...
neptune said
on 9/10/2008 wow ....i admit i couldn't stop laughing as im guilty of so much... makes me look at myself...and if i can learn how to give you 5 stars that would be great...im trying but the stars arn't lighting up...
MIghtyDreamer said
on 9/9/2008 These sound like wonderful ways to ruin a marriage. Unfortunately, the are many marriages falling into this category during the moments of writing this article and me making this comment. Insightful tips.