How to Make New Friends in Strange Places

In today’s go-go sociality it is a hard to swallow fact that most of us will end up moving away from our place of birth. Facing a town full of people you don’t know can be a daunting task, scary even. But with a few simple tricks and some practice one can have a new entourage with a week or two.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Smile
• Good Mood
• Time

1. Be bold: Fear is your worse enemy and greatest ally when it comes to making friends. Fear can stop you dead in your tracks when you need to take that final step, not a good thing. Yet fear is also what makes other people sit alone when they want to be in a group. Have you ever gone into a cafeteria and noticed how many people are eating alone, or even a library?
   Now, sometimes people simply want to be left to themselves, but most the time they are secretly begging for someone to talk to them. So do so, walk up to someone that looks bored and ask if you can sit with them. Ask them what they are doing, how they are. Don’t be afraid to keep things causal. If they say they need to leave, let them. Be bold, not pushy. People respond when you respond to them. So don’t be afraid to walk up and say hello.

2. Have Mints: I know this may sound odd, but I have carried mints in my pocket my whole life not because I am obsessed with fresh breath (though it doesn’t hurt when talking to new people) but because it is such a great way to get people to remember you. Every time you take a mint offer some to the people around you. If you are lucky a few of the people will like your mints and come back asking for more.

3. Listen, and then talk: When you are actually in a conversation. Shut up! That doesn’t mean that you don’t talk at all but the more someone else talks, the better. Get an idea of where they stand on things then decide what to say and not to say. Like if someone is deeply religious, probably not a good idea to mention your atheistic views at least not till you knows them better.

4. Smile: If there is anything people hate more it is a buzz kill. I’m not saying be something you aren’t but don’t be a downer either. If you need someone to listen to your endless list of problems hire a shrink. When you are meeting new people try and keep things light and fun. Let their memories of you be pleasant. Keep it real, but only a little bit at a time.

5. Patience: Don’t be afraid to talk to someone for only a few minutes then leave. Guess what, chances are you will see them again. Better a dozen small doses then a few hard to swallow gulps. Pace yourself and let people become comfortable with you being around.

Tips & Warnings

• I know these things seem obvious but they aren’t. More often then not we humans grow nervous around people and close up. That will not work. Remember if you want something go get it. No one is going to declare you their friend out of nowhere. You need to be the pursuer, not the pursued.
• Jerks get hit
• Confidence works better than ego

[cadosh]

on 4/6/2009 Interesting article! 5* RRCR

[FrazzledNanny]

on 2/1/2009 Great tips. Thanks for the well written article. 5*

[soanyway]

on 11/8/2008 Good article, I always have fresh breath it's so very important to anything you do!

[Sparkle4u2nv]

on 10/21/2008 Wonderful article! Im going to remember the mint tip too. I usually carry gum but mints might be better.

[SimplySmart]

on 10/20/2008 Great article! Making and keeping friends is a learned skill.