How to Merge Your Money When You Get Married

One of the biggest reasons people get divorced in this country either directly or indirectly revolves around money or the stresses financial strain place on a family. If you are planning to get married and must merge your money, here are some financial planning tips for newlyweds.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Open Communication
• Honesty

How to Merge Your Money

1. Communicate. Most people just don't want to talk about money and bills because it is stressful. Rather than confront the issue head on, each individual either avoids it, or continues to do "their own thing."

2. Decide if you will be running the budget together or if one person will be in charge of financial matters. Since you've already decided to merge your money it's important you set parameters for how much each person puts into the joint account and if you will have individual accounts at all. Ask each other the following questions.

3. Ask the big questions. How much can each person spent without consulting the other? $20? $50? Whatever you decide, stick with it. When will bills be paid? Some people are timely and send out their checks far in advance, where as some people wait until the last minute. Make sure you understand each other's expectations. Once a deadline is set, don't argue about it.

4. Plan. What are the large purchases we are saving for? Are you planning to have children? Buy a house? Make sure each of you has a general idea when all of these things will take place and save accordingly.

5. Decide what are each of your "must have's?" Some couples are fine with generic foods whereas others opt for name brand. Some people need a manicure, coffee in the morning, or night out with the guys to feel sane. Figure out how these will fit into your finances and be prepared to make compromises.

6. Assess how each of you views money. Some people don't save and use all the money they have. If you are a saver and your spouse is a spendthrift you could run into some arguments along the way. Discuss your different spending habits in advance. As a compromise, work savings into the monthly budget. As long as money is going into your retirement fund and all the necessary savings accounts for items like houses, vacations, Christmas or whatever else you deem important, you will be less likely to get infuriated if your spouse spends a little extra sometimes.

7. Speak honestly about how much each of you brings into the home. If one of you earns a lot more than the other be honest about how you feel about that. Will it bother you that you pay for the majority of the bills? Will you hold it over your spouse's head or resent them for it. Make decisions now about how much each person is expected to contribute.

8. Take a deep breath and realize that money is just money. There will be stressful times in your relationship, but rather than view your spouse as the enemy, communicate ways to better your life and take time to value what is really important to each other.

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[ViktoryaHale]

on 10/10/2008 Great advice Molly. I don't know about you but I can relate to this since I have been married before.

[Alisiane]

on 9/22/2008 This is one of those issues that is so important and yet too often un-discussed.

We spend 6 months looking for a dress and the perfect napkins for the reception, but finances? ...well that's no fun to talk about so we just leave it to chance. Gotta spend more time planning a marriage than a wedding. Great tips! :-)