How to Deal with a Backstabbing Co-Worker

Suspect that a co-worker may be backstabbing you? Feel threatened by a sly, unscrupulous co-worker? Well, you're not alone. When it comes to the workplace, some people have absolutely no morals. Also, the motivation to get ahead can cause some of these co-workers to step on your toes and stab you in the back. Here's how to deal with these backstabbers...

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Discerning eye
• Careful planning
• Time

1. If you know of someone who is whispering things behind your back or doing things to jeopardize your livelihood, try to get all the facts you can so that you can eventually dispute any wrong information. Above all else, do not get emotional. You need to stay calm and logical. Your boss (or boss's boss) will look much more favorably to a cool, well-collected individual who is able to present the facts without bringing any personal issues to the table. No-one likes a whiner even if that whiner is right. So, stay calm and cool.

2. Especially if the backstabber is circulating rumors and gathering people against you, you should try to get some people on your side as well. Don't leave your friends in the dark. Let them know exactly what is happening and try to gain some sympathy. These friends will can not only help in giving you some moral comfort, but possibly also help to dispel rumors or false information about you.

3. Try to be on good terms with your immediate supervisor, manager, and those higher up as well. It's a lot harder for a backstabber to kill you off when you have friends in high places.

4. While it is possible to start rumors about the backstabber, your really shouldn't do this. It will only hurt you in the long run. People have less respect for these kinds of people and it could also become a part of your character (i.e., "habit makes character").

5. It's also possible to confront the backstabber, but be careful about this as it could further ignite the situation. You could politely ask about certain facts, but do not get personal.

6. In case the backstabber is successful, you should always have some option(s) available (or at least an idea of an option) in case it becomes unbearable at the current workplace. If the backstabber is making it unbearable and you've exhausted all your options, it just may not be worth the effort to suffer through the pain any longer. It's very tempting to shoot back at the backstabber in your exit interview, but DO NOT do this. Instead, be very polite and indicate that you are leaving to explore other opportunities. That way, you won't leave any negative traces at this company that other potential employers could ask about. Also, this would leave the door open for your return to the compnay in the event that the environment changes (e.g., the backstabber leaves or is fired).

[Desula]

on 11/5/2008 Thanks for the information on dealing with a backstabber in the office.

[Butterfli]

on 10/14/2008 Really too bad that there are people out there like that in the work place. Very good article. 5*

[luv2blog]

on 10/10/2008 Sad, but backstabbers do exist. You gave good advice on how to handle it. Most importantly, they probably will eventually go away. Also, if they;'re doing it to you, they're doing it to others and it will eventually catch up to them.

[GreenGardenChic]

on 10/8/2008 This sends chills up by back-stabbed spine. Good info.

[AudreyBrown]

on 9/30/2008 I GOT FIRED by a couple of backstabbers once after a positive review and a week's vacation!!! Came back to a totally different world after a week's worth of gossip...now I work for ME! No backstabbers here, haha!