How to Help Dad Get Involved With A New Baby

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By oneloved
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Father and Baby Bonding

Are you blessed with a new baby, or one on the way? Are you wondering how to encourage Dad to bond and help care for the baby? Here are some helpful tips.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Don't worry if he doesn't seem to "bond" with the baby during your pregnancy. For a lot of guys, it's difficult to bond with someone they can't see, hear or feel, but they do much better once they hold their baby for the first time.

Some guys love to get involved with the pregnancy, listen to the heartbeat, talk to the pregnant belly and read up on all the baby stuff. Others are happy to leave all things pregnancy related in your department, and wait until the birth to really get involved.
Step 2

Take a birth class together. It helps you both know what to expect, build your sense of doing this together as a team, and can be a great bonding experience for new parents. It also helps to give Dad a clear role and tips on how to help, both during the pregnancy and during labor. Most new dads are more than happy to help once they know what you want or need, but they usually need to be told directly - vague hints don't help.
Step 3

Take a newborn care and CPR class together. This gets down to the details of what is and is not safe for a baby, how to prevent household accidents, and do emergency procedures like the Heimlich Maneuver and CPR if necessary. Plenty of great baby care tips, too!
Step 4

Do your best to have Dad attend the birth, and participate as much as possible. With a birth class under his belt, he'll be far more prepared and comfortable in helping you through labor and delivery. Let him hold the baby as soon as possible after the birth. Bonding during those first hours and days is really important.
Step 5

Remember that only thing that Mom alone can do is breastfeed. Everything else can be done by either parent: burping, changing, bathing, cuddling, slow dancing, wearing in a sling or wrap, etc. After you're done with a nursing session, hand baby off to Daddy, and let him take care of the rest.
Step 6

Be careful not to criticize. Just because Dad may do something a different way than you, doesn't mean it's wrong. Unless it is clearly unsafe, let it go. The more you criticize, the less Dad will feel he can do anything right, and the less he'll feel inclined to pitch in and lend a hand.
Step 7

Don't interfere with bonding. If Dad is holding the baby and he starts crying, don't immediately jump in and "rescue" the baby from Dad. The only reason to take a crying baby out of Daddy's arms is to breastfeed him. If you know your baby is full and doesn't need to nurse, let him receive comfort from Dad. It may take a little longer than you like at first, but as their bond grows, baby will soon be able to accept Dad's loving arms as comfort.
Step 8

Leave baby alone with Daddy for a little while each day. Go take a shower, read a book, run an errand, or check your e-mail. You need the break, and Daddy needs the bonding time. This also helps to prevent the habit of Dad handing baby off to mom every single time he cries. If you're not around and he has to figure out how to calm the baby down by himself, he soon will.
Step 9

Praise his parenting skills. When you see how gently he cradles the baby or how well he handled that temper fit, tell him! He needs praise and affirmation just as much as you do.

Comments

Aria said

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on 11/12/2008 This is good information. 5 stars!

momofour said

on 9/9/2008 Great article. It is often hard for new mom's to let go and not interfere and then complain about how they can't get any help. I have done it myself! Dad's may need a little prodding when it comes to a newborn (they think they will break the baby! How sweet is that!) but when they are given the chance, they will learn just as Mom did.