How to Ask for a Girl's Phone Number

Asking for a girl's phone number comes down to one simple action--vocalizing the words "Could I get your number?" Depending on the situation, this can be fairly easy or very hard. These tips explore two situations: brief encounters and ongoing friendships.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Brief Encounter

1. Brief encounters are times when you may only get one chance to talk to a woman. Maybe it's in line at the supermarket, sitting in a cafe or in the hallway at school. The key to these encounters is confidence. Stand or sit straight, make eye contact, smile and be friendly. Practice these habits at home or with friends you're already comfortable with. You don't have to tell your friends, just make a point to make eye contact or to walk a little bit taller each day.

2. In most situations, you will want to start a small conversation before asking for a girl's number. You can often determine some topics from your surroundings. Are you pumping gas at a gas station? You can comment on her car, the traffic, gas prices, or even the weather. If you're at school, try asking what classes she's taking or simply comment on your surroundings. There are unlimited potential questions, so be original.

3. Seeing as this is only a brief encounter, your conversation won't be able to last very long. Luckily, this can be used to your advantage. If the two of you had a good conversation for only 30 seconds, it's likely she'll want to know more. Now's a good time to ask for her phone number. You can't chat about the tabloids in line at the supermarket all day, so what better way to continue the conversation than over the telephone or dinner.

Ongoing Friendships

4. Ongoing friendships are relationships where you see the girl frequently and don't have a strict time limit to get the number. Rather than conversation and confidence, the key to these situations is a mild friendship. Joke around with the girl as you would one of your friends and act as naturally as you can. Try to remember that this girl is just another person and she does normal people things. She goes home at the end of the day and watches TV, she gets bored and she has fears. Even if you aren't the greatest conversationalist, she'll have times to pick up on your other qualities.

5. While it's important to gain friendship, make sure to hint about your romantic interest as well. Flirting techniques, such as subtle touches to her hands, are a great way to accomplish this goal.

6. If the girl returns your flirtatious behavior, it's likely you'll be able to successfully ask for her number. Find something the two of you have in common, such as an activity you would both like to participate in. After suggesting that the two of you do this activity together, you'll have an excuse to ask for her number. This takes a lot of pressure off of the question and makes the exchange more natural.

7. If Step 3 is simply too much to handle, try asking for her instant messenger name or email address. You could even befriend her on a social networking website and begin talking there. The Internet provides a variety of tools to make this question easier.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are in class with the girl you're interested in, you can easily get her number as a new friendship. Exchange numbers with one another just in case one of you misses a class or needs information on an assignment. Make sure to call up for some advice or help with classwork and offer to study together.
• While confidence and skills in conversation are not vital to ongoing friendships, they'll help in the beginning. It's a good idea to practice the skills for brief encounters even if you are interested in a friend.
• People love to make connections--don't be afraid to talk to anyone.
• Try to ask open-ended questions, especially in brief encounters. Questions with "yes" or "no" answers can put a quick halt to a conversation. Instead of asking "Are you enjoying the weather," ask "Are you doing anything to take advantage of this weather?"
• It's always possible that she just won't be interested in you, no matter how well you do. Girls will often be impressed by your confidence, even if they don't decide to share their number. The ability to approach a girl is viewed as a very masculine quality. So, even if she rejects you, maybe she'll tell a friend about your good qualities. In other words, it's always worth a shot.
• Just because a girl gives you her number doesn't mean she's romantically interested in you. Getting a phone number is simply a good way to begin building a relationship.

Resources

• Flirting techniques
• Building confidence