How to Annoy Your Older Brother

To properly annoy an older brother requires more than just stealing his toys, or pinching him when he's not looking. Psychological annoyance is the way to go. Here are a few ideas (though this list is obviously not exhaustive).

Instructions

1. Get him in trouble. Create a situation where your brother will get in trouble. Hit him, and when he hits you back, start crying. This should bring your mother running and earn him a considerable time out, when in fact you are the one who struck first. If he was supposed to do chores, wait until he does them. When he is not looking, undo them (put the garbage back in the kitchen, for example). Write a love-note and put it where his girlfriend is sure to find it.

2. Listen in on his phone conversations. Later, use the knowledge to make him very uncomfortable around others--if you heard he has plans to sneak out for a party Friday night, casually suggest a family event that evening. Or better yet, suggest an activity where the party is occuring ("Wouldn't it be fun to go to that old field and watch the fireflys," knowing he has a bonfire party in the field that night).

3. Hide something important of his—homework, a corsage for a date, football helmet, etc. Choose something he needs, in a timely manner. Wait for him to involve at least four people in his frantic hunt for it. When they have been hunting for about 15 minutes, put the item back somewhere obvious--the chair in his room, his backpack or the kitchen table. He'll look crazy and know it was you, but nobody else will.

4. When he brings a date home, hang around as much as possible. Suggest that his date ask him embarrassing stories ("You just have to ask Joe to tell you about the time he got caught naked in the church"). Call his date the wrong name all night, or refer to stories that involve him and a different date. Ask her advice on boys/clothes/other girly topics. Make plans to hang out with her, without him.

5. If you're a girl, date one of his friends.

Tips & Warnings

• Beware retaliation.