How to Make a New Friend
In the big city, it is easy to get caught up in your life, and forget about the important things, like friendship and fun. However, with a few easy steps, it is easy to get out of the loneliness rut and meet like minded people with whom you can share thoughts and ideas.
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Instructions
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Whether you are married or single, it is never too late to make friends. If you are married, just make sure you keep your partner in the loop so he doesn't feel that you are replacing him. Let him know you are doing this to enhance your life, not to replace him. Generally, you can make a new friend in any setting. Just keep your mind open for signs that someone would like to befriend you. Do you get an open, relaxed feeling when you meet a new person? Does she smile and make eye contact? Does she say hello when she passes you in the hallway? Does she offer to help you with your groceries in the parking lot?
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Smile. If you get a good intuition about someone, smile and introduce yourself. Start with a little chat about the weather or some event going on in the street. If the conversation flows, this is another good sign. Try, in a gentle and non-aggressive way to find out if the person will be in the area again, to find out if it won't be a stretch to meet again.
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Be willing to share. Offer a small personal detail, like errand you are running, to see if the other person is willing to share, too. For example, if you attended a community lecture, thank the speaker for his contribution. Tell him why you were interested, and see if the person returns the confidence. Don't worry if this exercise does not work out right away. Sometimes it will, and sometimes it won't. You will have to put out some effort before you find a new friend.
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Start with coffee. If you get a good sense with the conversation flow, ask the person if she would like to meet for coffee sometime. If yes, great, you can suggest a place and time, or if she says no, there is no harm done. If coffee works out well, you can meet again a few times, and see if you still feel comfortable, if the conversation flows. Don't try to force intimacy with this person, but be glad for the interaction you are sharing. Also, don't put all your eggs in one basket. The other person will sense the pressure and back off.
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Go to lunch. If coffee works well, and you would like to spend more time with your new acquaintance, suggest a lunch date. Lunch is another non-threatening, and time limited environment, where you can continue to interact in a no-pressure setting. Try lunch on a weekend when you are free, or if you are co-workers, go to the cafeteria for half an hour.
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Try a free lecture or event. If several lunches go well, you can escalate interaction by suggesting a free book reading or local community lecture you both attend. If your new friend declines, however, don't take it personally, as he may not be used to too much social interaction, he may be introverted, or he may have a lot going on. Enjoy the time that you do have to interact with your friend.
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Keep in mind that there are many community oriented events in your neighborhood and town which can be good places to meet like minded people. Book clubs can be a good way to get a sense of the way people think, as discussions can be very lively and enlightening. Local home owners' associations often have interesting speakers and can be a good way to bond around a central issue, like preventing ecological destruction, or urban planning. Keep trying to make friends, and don't take this process too seriously. Remember it is about fun, interaction and enriching your life.
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Meet your neighbor
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Tips & Warnings
Be sure to trust your intuition, and if the person seems friendly on the surface, but you get a bad feeling about her, trust your gut. It is better to be safe than nice.
