How to Avoid a Starter Marriage

A starter marriage is a brief, childless first marriage that lasts less than five years. There are many reasons that starter marriages do not work, but the overriding factor is that people enter these marriages with unrealistic expectations about married life. Whether a relationship is plagued by immaturity, irresponsibility or insecurity, knowing how to avoid a starter marriage will result in your long-term happiness. Wait and find the right person for you--you'll be glad you did.

Instructions

1. Know yourself. Self awareness is key--know who you are, what you want from life and your relationship. Learn constantly from your experiences. Finding a good partner is also about knowing what you do not want, not just a "wish list" of someone's desired qualities.

2. Have realistic expectations about married life. Focus more on your marriage than on a wedding. A wedding lasts one day, a marriage a lifetime. Give marriage the time, energy and respect it deserves.

3. Wait and date. The longer you date someone, the more you will learn about them. Give it at least two years and go through all kinds of experiences with them to find out who they really are.

4. Wait until you're after 30 to marry. It may sound cliche, but the highest divorce rates are between people ages 25-29. After age 30, the likelihood increases that your marriage will succeed. This is because you're usually at the point where your career is established, your education is completed (or going for higher degrees) and you're more wise and self-aware.

5. Learn to be alone. It's better to be alone than be with someone who is not right for you. Wait until you meet the right person and don't be in a rush.

6. Look for someone who will be a good partner and see what they bring to the table. You've worked hard to get where you are, why spoil it by marrying someone who does not share the same values or work ethic as you?

7. Have great communication. Communication is the foundation of any relationship, so make sure you and your partner have a commitment to always being open and honest with one another.

8. Be in good financial shape. Look for someone else who is, too. Money is the number one reason that couples fight. Be open and honest about all debts you have and insist that they do so as well.

9. Commit to the long haul. Don't enter a marriage with the thought that if it doesn't work out, you can always get a divorce. If you're with the right person, know that there will be hard times and good times and commit to going through these experiences together.

Tips & Warnings

• Divorce attorneys are expensive. Don't marry someone thinking it's easy to get out of it--ending a marriage has high costs that are both emotional and financial. Do yourself a favor and wait to find the right relationship for you.