How to Raise a Child in a Positive Environment

I would think it would be easy to raise a child in a positive environment, but from my own experiences as young child I have found that some people find it difficult to do so because either their parents raised them that way or they have too many problems themselves that they forget they are a parent and need to nurture the child.
This is why I put moderate on this article because it may be hard to do this at times or hard to change old habits.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• patience
• ability to change the way you think and how you interact with a child
• desire to change your habits to more loving ones

1. First, put yourself in the child's shoes. Remember, this is a small human being you are dealing with. Just as you want to be able to love and trust someone, so does the child. We all seem to have a psychological need to be loved.

2. Separate people seem to have different ideas of love--some think visual ways such as receiving presents is love, some think doing thing for others is love, some like hearing the words "I love you", and others like physical touch such as hugging, a pat on the back, or a kiss on the cheek. A lot of people have a combination of these four things to do with their idea of love. However, usually one sticks out as most important and we hope that is not the present receiving one as that can get quite expensive and seems a bit selfish. My advice is to hug them anyway, so they learn to hug others.

3. Learn the child's favorite way of being shown that you love them and do it most often. As I said, the present way is expensive so if you can't afford it explain why and most children will get the idea or make inexpensive crafts for the child. The bonus here is the child learns trust when love is shown.

4. Make time to be with the child and do activities with them. Be excited when they do things and show that you care that they do them.

5. If a child does a chore, but doesn't get it right in your opinion--don't tell them so. Thank them first for trying hard and trying to help. Then show them lovingly how to do it better. Example, you tell them to dust something off and they miss a few spots. Yelling because of this isn't going to help--the child needs to be shown the right way to do it--after all this isn't something that comes natural for the most part, but needs to be taught.

6. A child can't always make good grades in school. This is limited by intelligence and ability to learn as the teachers teach. Not all students can actually learn by just being spoken to for half an hour or shown how to do it on the blackboard. Some learn visually, some learn audibly, and some learn just by doing the activity until they get it right. Some people learn by a combination of at least two of the skills, but a good deal learn mostly by one method. Either work with the child on homework or find someone to help tutor them such as a neighbor child you can give a small wage to for their help.
   If they truly are slacking, then it is time to show them you care how well they do be more actively involved in their life to do with school.

7. Getting angry and yelling doesn't work with every child. Some are genuinely frightened by that behavior and decide never to do it again. Some are overly frightened by it and will be more scared of you than trusting. Some will spite the angry person and do it anyway just to get even. Some have genuine disorders that keep them from acting appropriately--try getting counseling by a good child psychologist first.

8. Children don't always understand anger, punishment, or why something needs to happen/be done. Good explanations are required for some children, especially more intelligent/sensitive ones. Explaining why behaviors are wrong will help certain children not to do things again or to do what is right for the situation.

9. If a child does something right, like get great grades or do a wonderful job on chores, make them feel good about it. Either reward them or show how proud you are of the good job. (My parents never got excited about my grades, so it was kind of a who cares thing for me. They didn't want to make my brother jealous who didn't get quite as good grades).

10. If another child gets jealous of the rewards or praise heaped on another child due to the reward for doing good--show them you love them anyway and tell them they have things they are good at and that you appreciate them for what they can do/who they are.

11. In all things, treat the child as you would want to be treated. If punishment must be administered, keep in mind this is a being smaller than you and less mature. They need time to get things right and grow up.