How to let go

There comes a time in all of our lives that we must let go of the past and look forward to the future. I caution you only to read on, if you are truly interested in learning how to let go of a bad relationship and save yourself from futher humiliation

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Common sense
• A desire to stop the insanity
• A crazy girlfriend, sister, cousin, brother, relative...passerby

1. Letting go...
   
   ...is never easy,however, if you are at the end of your rope, unsure of yourself, lack confidence, self esteem, cant remember where you layed your ego down, are constantly depressed, unsure of his/her whereabouts, are existing just for the kids, staying just for the kids (breathe), cant stop crying, thought about ending it, love him/her madly and hate him/her just as madly...its time to let go.

2. How to let go..
   
   1. When sharing a home with the person- If your name is the only one on the lease (here is where you will need that common sense), change the locks on the doors. This action is fairly easy and inexpensive, however, do not forget to place the persons belongings somewhere safe on the outside of the home, so there is no reason for the person to return to collect his/her property.
   
   2. If the person you are leaving is the primary owner/renter (again,pull out that common sense), collect your belongings and leave. If you have no where to go, sometimes a shelter, inexpensive motel room, your car, is better than where your fleeing from.

3. When the kids are your main concern...
   
   1. If your children are under the age of 12, pack their little bags and load them into a bus, car, taxi, train, whatever you have and can afford to save them from the horror of a dysfunctional situation.
   2. If your children are 13 and over, talk to them first, but DO NOT disclose your plans to leave. Children have a tendency to be very loyal to the abusive parent. An abusive parent isn't always one who physically, or verbally abusive, but rather mentally abusive, like a mate who is cheating and thinks you are none the wiser. Talk to your children intelligently,look for signs of their discontent with homelife. If your situation is really bad, nine times out of ten your children have expressed their concern to you already.
   3. If your children are grown...just leave, the kids just want you to be happy and if they do not and rather you stayed in a abusive relationship, then your actions of staying all those years because of the kids, has already affected your children beyond reasoning. If this is the case, stop worrying about the kids and leave...did I say that loud enough?

4. If you are trying to end a bad platonic friendship...
   
   1. Stop answering your phone when the person calls
   2. Stop returning calls
   3. Be on your way out of the door when the person comes knocking at your door. Always have somewhere private to go, so if the person asks if he/she can come along, the answer is obviously no. Easier said then done? Nope, just think of a place, or person the unwanted friend dislikes and ALWAYS be headed in that direction. This will eventually get old, but by that time, the unwanted friend will have gotten the message.
   4.Muster the courage to tell the unwanted friend the truth about wanting to go your separate way, if you do not have the heart to do this (in walks the crazy sister, friend, cousin, or relative)allow your favorite "crazy" to have the pleasure in getting your point across for you. Cowardly move? Maybe, but effective none the less.

5. Letting go of a hottie...
   
   1. If the hottie is unfaithful, ask yourself this, what is the purpose of staying in a relationship with someone who is just not that into you? What are you getting out of it? Dont answer that, because if staying with this person hurts, letting go will hurt as well, but the hurt from letting go will heal, an incurable disease caught from the cheating hottie, will not.
   2. Ask yourself, what is more important, being seen in public with a hot cheater, user, abuser, or your sanity, peace of mind and self esteem intact. (No brainer)

Tips & Warnings

• Prepare yourself for the worst
• Protect your children/family from a dysfunctional relationship
• Do not seek revenge, it will come on its own and you will know when it has arrived
• Do not change your mind once you have decided to leave
• Test your escape plan. Go to a relative/friends home over night without telling the person your whereabouts, if he/she finds you before the night ends,or anytime the next day, rethink your plan
• Do not share the details of your plan with your children, unless you are abolutely sure they support you 100% and can keep a secret
• Do not feel guilty for leaving, but if you cannot help it, depending on the situation, luxuriate in the guilt, let it flow over you and engulf your senses like a beautiful waterfall. Guilt can feel oh so good, when it is not warranted, but cant be controlled.
• Again, prepare yourself for the worse
• Have a group of your favorite crazy close at your side
• Be careful, but courageous!

[sherryeam]

on 3/17/2009 Very good article.

[Kilogramm]

on 9/9/2008 This is real talk thruout this whole article, 5 stars!

[taskeinc]

on 8/31/2008 A very interesting article ... nice, safe, modest title but you could just as well of called it "how to kick someone to-de-curb!" Good job and your tips are on point.

[changeling]

on 8/30/2008 Excellent article. Because leaving is sometimes sooo hard to do because we only have 1Life2live :) and it's not worth the hurt and pain. Yes, I've been there and done that.

[Psalmist4M]

on 8/27/2008 Very informative. Thanks for the article. 5*s