How to Fake Confidence

Your confidence shines and draws other people to you.
Your confidence shines and draws other people to you. (Image: m-imagephotography/iStock/Getty Images)

Confidence in relationships is appealing for many reasons, but sometimes you may have to fake it until you make it. Even when you don't feel confident, acting as though you are can still have the effects you're looking for. Whether you hope to build your confidence throughout your life, or just need a little boost, even faking confidence can lead to great benefits for you.

Smile. This is the essential key to all confidence. Whether its a sly half smile, a full grin, or a side-slung smile, a smile creates a psychological shift in the people who see it, creating a more favorable impression of you and the idea that you are capable. This effect is exactly what confidence is all about. A smile will also light up your face and mask the facial indications of being tired, depressed, upset, or insecure.

Act decisively. Even if it's only concerning what to get for lunch, pick a choice and stick to it. Confident people don't second-guess themselves -- they trust their initial instinct. Whether or not you trust yours, fake it by making a quick but wise decision. Follow through with what you decide to demonstrate your confidence to others.

Walk with power. Put your chin up, shoulders back, and walk with an even rhythm. You don't need to stomp, but instead look straight ahead, don't look down and step with long, decisive strides. Body language conveys a lot to the people around you. Even by changing your posture and movements when you walk, you indicate to others your level of confidence.

Make eye contact. This simple gesture shows that you are engaged when you're speaking with others. Eye contact is a way many people bolster their connections with others -- it is a basic form of communication that manages to have powerful messages. Confident people are equals to their peers, and you establish a level footing with others by looking them in the eyes.

When in doubt, say nothing. Don't speak unnecessarily, and when you do, say only what you have to -- confident people don't ramble, stammer, backtrack or use fillers such as "like" or "um." If you tend to do any of these, the less you say, the better. Listen closely to what people are saying to you, think before you speak, and say exactly what you mean.

Tips & Warnings

  • True confidence is about being happy, proud, and comfortable with yourself as an individual. If, on a continued basis, you struggle with self-confidence, you may want to see a professional for some ideas on how to increase your self-esteem.

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