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Step 1
Recognize how your child expresses insecurity. When children sense a change is coming to the family, insecurity is very common, especially for younger ones who are still very dependent on Mommy in particular. Each child is different and will show the signs of insecurity in different ways. Devote attention to observing changes in your child's behavior patterns and how he expresses himself. He may revert back to habits he had when he was younger. He may seek attention by misbehaving. He may cry more easily or be prone to angry outbursts. By recognizing these signs, you can respond with calm and reassurance rather than react with frustration.
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Step 2
Be sensitive to other areas of change in your child's world. Even adults have a finite threshold of how much change they can easily process at one time. Children are no different. Consider ways to minimize additional changes in your child's life while your family awaits the arrival of your new baby. Involve your child's day care or preschool teachers. Enlist their help in providing a slower transition into new classes or new schedules. Resist the urge to hurry your child through new development stages or skills such as potty training, abandoning bottles or pacifiers, and changing bedtime rituals. Although it may be tempting to try accomplishing these transitions before your schedule becomes more complicated with a newborn, they may simply be too much, too fast for young siblings.
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Step 3
Talk about your new addition as a real person. If you know the gender of your baby, begin to discuss having a "little brother" or "little sister" with your child. If you have chosen a name, teach it to her and begin to use it when referring to the baby. Be open about the baby growing inside Mommy's tummy and allow her to feel the baby's movements. Help your child anticipate how she might be able to interact with and care for her new sibling.
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Step 4
Involve older siblings in preparations for the new baby. Rather than making the nursery off limits, allow your children to help out with decorating, cleaning or putting furniture together. Ask them to create artwork especially for their new sibling's room. Take them shopping to purchase something special for the new baby from each child and display their choices prominently.
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Step 5
Plan for extra one-on-one time for each older sibling with both Mommy and Daddy. A little extra attention and "special" time together can help to ease insecurities in your children. It will help them not to feel threatened by the anticipation of a new baby in the house.
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Step 6
Establish creative ways for Mommy to remain involved in care-giving despite pregnancy's body changes. As the baby's due date gets closer, Mommy may need more rest or may not be able to move around as easily as your children expect. Work out a system that allows both parents to work together in daily routines like bath time, diaper changes, play times and bedtime reading. Cooperation means young siblings won't have to adjust to Mommy suddenly being absent from the routines that tend to provide them with a sense of security.
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Step 7
Set aside individual time for each older sibling with Mommy and your new baby.
