How to positively discipline children

Kicking, screaming, spanking... sound familiar? Raising children is not an easy task. It takes what I call the three P's patience, persistence, and praise. Raising your voice or smacking their bottoms when they've done wrong may relieve your frustration, but it does not solve the misbehavior. With these key steps, your stress level will decrease, and your children will learn 3 extremely important skills.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Persistence
• Praise
• Chore chart

1. When informing your children of the rules and guidelines in the household, parents must make themselves crystal clear. In addition, whatever chores the children must do should be on a chart. This chart can be the key to reinforcement and praise. When a child does his or her chore for the day, they get a sticker put next to their name, and a kind praise. At the end of the week if all the chores have been marked, reward your child(ren). This way, your child(ren) will learn that "they are capable" of achieving their goals.

2. Next, whatever your child is interested in, make it known that what they are doing is great. When a child has a story about what happened in school, or what they did with their friends that was "really cool," do not just ignore it. Listen to them as if it is the most important thing you've heard all day. When children have someone who will listen and take their feelings, thoughts, and ideas seriously, children will be more likely to believe that they "contribute in meaningful ways, and they are genuinely needed." This is crucial to supporting a child's self worth. If you ignore their thoughts and ideas they may be more likely to be unhappy teenagers and adults, because they've never had anyone their to listen.

3. 
    
   confidence to face the world

   Never be too busy for your child(ren). It's understandable and easy to think that you have too much other things to do than watch a skit your child(ren) want to show you, or show you a picture of the "bunny" they drew. Most of the time, the skit is extremely short because they just made it up, and the bunny looks more like a cotton ball with ears, but those five minutes that you take to praise their creativity are so important to them. Don't take those few moments for granted.

4. Children know that they have personal power. They can either use it in constructive or destructive ways. If every time they make a mistake they get reprimanded or punished, they think that it is unacceptable to make a mistake. Instead, when a child makes a mistake, sit down and discuss why it was a mistake, and tell them it's ok to make mistakes. Help your children learn from their mistakes so they do not repeat them. This helps build the child's ability to know "how to use their personal power to make choices based on how it will effect themselves and others."

Tips & Warnings

• If you have more than one child, have the rewards on a rotation. One week can be Billy' s turn to pick, the next can be Susie's ... etc. Also, have consequences for a child who does not finish his or her chores.
• If you have more than one child, the child who does not get to pick that week's reward may try to slack off on their chores. Being the great parent(s) you are, you do not want to leave the slacker behind. Instead, if your slack-off child does not get his or her chores finished, their week to pick the incentive will be skipped.

[Susanh]

on 8/24/2008 Our children are blessings from the Lord. They grow up so very quickly. I struggle myself with feelings of guilt about not spending enough time with my own children! This article contains wonderful reminders and tips. Thank you.

[vikki9]

on 8/23/2008 Interesting article.

[Melanierose]

on 8/23/2008 Great article.

[Cateeto]

on 8/23/2008 Very good tips.