How to Have an Active Sex Life After Having a Baby

When you have a new baby in the house, sex may be the last thing on your mind. And while it is important to make sure you are physically and emotionally ready to have sex again, it is also important to set aside time for intimacy with your partner. Sex is a crucial aspect of a healthy marriage but tends to take last place when you are busy with a baby. Believe it or not, however, you can have an active sex life--even after you have become a parent.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Don't rush into sex. By all means, wait until the doctor gives you the green light to have sex. This usually occurs at about six weeks post-partum, or later if it was a particularly difficult birth. Even after the doctor says it is OK, a woman might not feel up to it for a few more weeks.

2. Proceed with caution. A woman's vaginal area may be quite sensitive for a while after giving birth. Be sure to go slowly, use plenty of lubrication, and stop if sex becomes painful.

3. Expect the unexpected. Don't be surprised if just when things are starting to get good, the baby begins to cry. Breastfeeding mothers and their partners can expect milk to leak during sex and particularly during orgasm. If these things aren't enough, a postpartum woman can experience erratic mood swings which could cause her to dissolve into tears after or even during sex. There are so many pitfalls involved, that it is best to be prepared for anything.

4. Make an appointment for sex. Infants, with their multitude of demands, make spontaneity nearly impossible. So make an appointment with your partner for sex. Plan it for a time when your baby should be sleeping and be sure to factor in some time to get yourself ready--new parents often struggle to find time for showering and grooming.

5. Don't wait for bedtime. Babies are notorious for waking up numerous times throughout the night. If your baby is a little night owl, you may have to start having sex first thing in the morning or during your baby's afternoon nap.

6. Find creative love-making spots. Sharing a room or even a bed with your baby? Then a little creativity is in order. Make love in front of the fireplace or on the living room sofa. If you're feeling really adventurous, grab the baby monitor and make love in the car--right in your own driveway (just make sure it's dark outside!).

7. Learn to love "quickies." While a slow, passionate love-making session is nice, it's not always practical with a baby in the next room. When an hour or two of uninterrupted time seems unattainable, go for a 20 or 30 minute quickie. This still gives you a chance to reconnect with your spouse and also satisfies your physical needs.

Tips & Warnings

• Consider taking baby to Grandma's house for the evening so that you and your partner can have some uninterrupted love-making time.
• If you are self-conscious about your baby hearing you while you are having sex, try turning on some white noise like a fan or a radio tuned to static. These will mask any sounds you are making but likely won't bother a sleeping baby.
• Don't forget birth control! Even breastfeeding women need to use birth control--unless, of course, you are ready to add another baby to the family.
• Sex may be different after the birth of a child. The woman's body has changed and both partners have taken on new roles that can impact everything they do.

Resources

• Sex After Pregnancy from the Mayo Clinic
• Sex After the Baby

[shubhra]

on 9/4/2008 Its reaaly amazing and helpful.After giving birth to my baby it was very difficult to find the right time ,right mood(as most of the time i was stressed)and environment for a good sex... but now i have really learned the strategy.. thanx.