How to Have a Quaker Wedding

Quaker weddings aren't like traditional weddings because of the religious practices involved. You must go through different legal and religious channels for your Quaker wedding to take place. There's no third party to announce the couple as man and wife because God is present at the ceremony regardless. You need to understand all of the Quaker marital traditions before taking the next step.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Fill out an application stating your intention to have a traditional Quaker wedding. This application is created by the registering officer at each monthly Quaker meeting. Find two witnesses to sign the application as well to make it more official.

2. Decide where you want your wedding to take place. Write up an application with your intended schedule containing information about your wedding, such as where it's going to be held and the names of the couple. Give this schedule to the registering office at least 3 weeks before the ceremony so it can publicly announce your marriage.

3. Obtain a marriage certificate or license to be signed right after the ceremony. Go through the registering office for a legal certificate because the one you sign at the Quaker ceremony isn't a legally binding one.

4. Invite your congregation to your wedding ceremony and expect a traditional vow of mostly silence. The couple stands at the altar and says a brief vow in no particular order. Afterwards, the registering office reads the certificate and everyone signs the certificate. Once the certificate is signed, the meeting and the ceremony end.

5. Have a private celebration to encompass anything you didn't do at the wedding ceremony. Create your own traditions for you and your spouse to share. Exchange your rings, give your vows and share your first dance after the wedding with your friends and family.

Tips & Warnings

• Give at least 6 weeks' notice of your pending wedding to the registrar's office. The office needs at least that much time to run your pending nuptials through the proper Quaker channels. The recommended time for announcing your nuptials shouldn't be earlier than 3 months ahead.
• Some marriage certificates are meant as decorative keepsakes. At Documents and Designs you can customize your keepsake certificate with any design you want from flowers to trees (see Resources).
• Don't assume you can't have a Quaker wedding because you've been married before. You can bring up the issue of your getting remarried by attending a monthly meeting with your parish. Depending on where you go to church, your group decides whether you have the right to get married at your church.

Resources

• Documents and Designs Marriage Certificates