How to Get Someone to Dump Oneself

Relationships can seem impossible to end. Whether you're the girlfriend or boyfriend in the equation, it can be exceedingly tough to tell someone you no longer share the same feelings that they do. Well if you're stuck in a rut, don't fret. Here are a few tricks of the trade which will have your girlfriend or boyfriend dumping you in no time.

Things You'll Need

• The hubris to lie

Instructions

1. Tell them that you've been completely deceitful during the relationship. The major underpinning to any solid relationship between a boyfriend or girlfriend is trust. Once you break that trust, the other person will be so offended that they will break-up with you. For instance, saying you had an affair is usually a deal breaker. If they want to forgive and move on, kick it up a notch by saying you slept with a paid escort.

2. Refuse to allow the relationship to continue. Because you've been the "deceitful one" in the fabulous lie you've told, you must be ready for a barrage of insults and humiliation that are about to be thrown your way. However after all of that anger, all of those off-color insults, it is within human nature to forgive. At that point, you must stick to your guns and tell your girlfriend or boyfriend that to continue with the relationship would be merely turning the blind-eye on the incident that occurred.

3. Apologize profusely and verbalize something along the lines of "you absolutely have every right to break up with me." By verbalizing the statement in an airtight manner, there is no room left for negotiation. The conversation is completely over. By apologizing, you are humanizing the blow and allowing them to feel as if they are making the right choice for themselves. Just remember, your name might get muddied up around town by your girlfriend or boyfriend as they will certainly spread the word that they dumped you because you were deceitful.

Tips & Warnings

• At the end of the day, the old adage "honesty is the best policy" certainly rings true. We are all human beings and deserve the decency of being told without trickery when one person in the relationship wishes to dump the other.