How to Live With a Spouse Who Suffers From Chronic Pain

Chronic pain affects thousands of people throughout the world. It can be debilitating one moment and practically nonexistent the next. It is during those times of decreased pain levels that hope is found; however, things can come crashing down once the pain returns. Having to watch your spouse go through this yoyo balancing act of going from a regular lifestyle to a sedentary lifestyle can be emotionally draining. Here are a few tips to help get you through the tough times.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Love
• Understanding
• Communication

1. Communication: This is an essential component of dealing with your spouse's chronic pain. Oftentimes you may become frustrated with your spouse's inability to do simple tasks such as taking out the garbage or doing the dishes, to more complex activities such as fitness or even physical intimacy. It is during your times of frustration that you should speak with your spouse and discuss your concerns. All too often the uninjured party tends to not speak up because of a desire to spare their spouse's feelings, but the frustration continues to build and oftentimes explodes at inopportune moments. If you keep open the lines of communication the stress of wondering can be alleviated and you both can work together to achieve your goals, one step at a time.

2. Patience: Please keep in mind that your spouse may not be able to do things he or she used to be able to do. It is easy to fall into the mindset that he or she used to take out the trash every day but barely manages to do it once a week now. You have to remember that it may take some persuasion or maybe he or she just cannot physically do those chores anymore. Patience is required as you allow your spouse to figure out his or her physical limits and just remember to take things one day at a time.

3. Love: When your spouse was injured, it was probably a big blow to his or her ego- simple tasks are no longer simple, and sometimes require a monumental effort to accomplish. Self-esteem can be one of the biggest injuries aside from the physical aspect. Remember to show and verbalize your love, because sometimes a little bit of encouragment can make a huge difference, and love is one of the biggest forms of encouragement a person can give.

4. Emotional Support: If you find that it is difficult for you to understand your spouse's injury, maybe you should try talking to a counselor- together. This is way to maintain open lines of communication. Your spouse is undoubtedly suffering from effects other than the pain, which may even include depression. Depression can be another difficult hurdle for you to handle along with the changes brought on by the physical injury, so make sure to talk to someone before YOUR frustration turns into depression or anxiety.

Tips & Warnings

• Chronic pain is a long-term illness, don't expect your spouse to heal overnight.

[Nemlee]

on 8/27/2008 Great Article

[Nemlee]

on 8/27/2008 Great Article

[deversole]

on 8/25/2008 Very tough! Thanks for the tips.

[HardworkinJudy]

on 8/22/2008 This applies to parents too. When you have a child move back in and they are suffering from an illness and don't communicate about that with you, then you find yourself shouldering more and more responsibilites it can become explosive. You are so right. Communication is vital.

[jpwriter]

on 8/22/2008 i love your tip, it's so true. great article.