Things You'll Need:
- Common sense
- An open mind
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Step 1
Personal Space: Americans do not like people that they do not know being too physically close to them.
When out in public places, imagine that there is a 1 to 1.5 meter circle drawn around you that follows you where ever you go -- that is the minimum personal space you should give people around you. Only close friends and family members are allowed to get closer.
Americans consider it to be very rude and personally distressing or irritating when people "invade their personal space".
Do not touch people when you talk to them and do not get too close to them unless they make some indication to you that it's OK to get closer. -
Step 2
American Friendliness: Americans tend to be very friendly on both a superficial and a genuine level. However, there are some subtleties to interacting with Americans that should be remembered in order to avoid awkward situations.
Saying Hello: Americans greet everyone, even people they do not know. If someone says "hello" or "hi" to you, you are expected to return the greeting. It is considered very rude if you do not return someone's greeting.
Saying hello to people doesn't usually mean anything, it's simply a superficial way for Americans to be polite and to diffuse awkward situations when around strangers.
NOTE: Although it's mostly superficial, Americans take this practice seriously and consider it very rude to not return a greeting.
When you greet someone formally, extend your hand for a handshake. Do not kiss people's cheeks or touch cheek to cheek. Maintain reasonable personal space and shake hands only.
When you greet friends, you may hug them if it seems appropriate, but with new friends handshakes are best. You may kiss female friends on the cheek, but if you are a man, DO NOT attempt to kiss a man's cheek as most American men consider this to be very inappropriate. Women, however, are allowed to kiss men and other women on the cheek if it seems appropriate to do so.
In some cultures it is very common for friends to hold hands while walking and talking, but this is not always the case in the United States. In America, you may hold hands with female friends if it seems appropriate, but American men NEVER hold hands with other men unless they are romantically involved.
If you briefly meet someone on the street who you've met more than once, they may follow up their greeting with a question like: "how are you?" or "how's it going?". When people ask this they do not really want to know how you are doing, what you are expected to say is something like "I'm fine, thanks" or "I'm good, how are you?"
This is another superficial formality but, again, it is taken very seriously. Most Americans would consider it strange or very awkward if you were to tell them how you really were doing. The best policy is to say you're "fine" or "good" or "great". -
Step 3
Conversation: Americans love to talk and generally it is OK to talk even to strangers about nearly any subject at any time as long as you are polite. However there are some subjects, like racism, American foreign policy, gun ownership, and religion that are best discussed among friends.
In America, it is OK to approach a stranger and start up a conversation with them as long as the subject is not too esoteric or random. In America, it is not considered inappropriate to talk to people you don't know.
Talking to a stranger about the weather or the quality of nearby restaurants, or the prices in a grocery store are all perfectly fine.
Even complementing someone on the car they drive or asking them where they bought their clothes (if the question is intended to be complementary) are all appropriate topics of conversation with complete strangers.
Generally, Americans prefer that people say what they think and they respect frankness. Of course there are limits to this that will be obvious if you use common sense.
Usually when it comes to personal matters, it's best to accentuate the positive: don't tell someone that their children are ugly or that their cooking is terrible. However, it's OK to tell someone that they are wrong as long as you do so politely and with respect. Americans generally believe that you show someone respect by telling them the truth. Don't be afraid to be honest with Americans, but be tactful as well as honest.
Most Americans will start a conversation with a person they just met by asking them what they do for a living. This question is not only considered appropriate by Americans, but it's also considered an important way to learn about someone.
Americans are very much work oriented, so what you do for a living is considered an important question to most Americans. If you have an interesting occupation, be prepared to be asked many questions about your work. Feel free to ask people similar questions about their work. -
Step 4
Common Courtesy and Social Etiquette: when it comes to most social situations Americans firmly believe in the concept that "all people are created equal". In most social situations Americans believe that no one has the right to special privileges, it's nearly always "first come first served", no exceptions.
With that in mind, here are some crucial tips for getting along in most social situations.
* "Excuse me" and "Thank you" are very useful phrases that you shouldn't hesitate to use in appropriate situations.
* Say "thank you" when someone offers you something (like a gift), or when someone helps you (for example, by giving you directions or holding a door open for you), among other situations.
* Say "excuse me" when moving into someone's personal space for some reason, passing in front of someone or passing through a crowd, when you have to interrupt someone for some reason, or for getting someone's attention, among other situations.
* Do not ever cut ahead in a line (a queue). Not only is it considered extremely rude, but it is sure to anger everyone you've cut ahead of. In fact, depending on where you are in America, cutting in line could even result in a physical confrontation with someone you've cut ahead of -- Americans take that much offense to cutting in line. If you get in a line, you stay in your place and wait your turn.
* When in a crowd or in a line, do not push or jostle people. Some Americans can react violently to being pushed, but nearly all will react angrily. Always wait your turn and if you need to get ahead of someone in a crowd, always say "excuse me" and pass them without pushing or jostling them. -
Step 5
American Women: The most important thing to remember about American women is that they are equal citizens with men in this country. They are as free as men to live, work, dress, talk, and act as they please.
Regardless of your background or culture, in the United States you treat women with the same respect as men. This means you shake hands with them, do business with them, speak to them and treat them with the same respect you would give a man.
If you have personal or religious views that are critical of how American woman live and act, it is strongly recommended you keep them to yourself. To treat women with disrespect or as second class citizens in the presence of most average Americans, will likely make you very unpopular and will most certainly make your visit to the United States an unpleasant one. -
Step 6
New York City: While nearly all the things described above are true for nearly everywhere else in America, some things are different in New York City, especially regarding people's personal space. As a rule, it's best to treat New York City as a special case, and "do as the Romans do" by simply watching how other people act in a given social situation and imitate them.
