How to Prepare to Bring Home Baby

Using forethought and planning, the trip to and from the hospital can be completely pain free.
Unlike other things.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Hospital Bag
• Check List
• Birth Plan
• Help Arranged

1. Write a birth plan.
   Depending on how anal retentive you are, this will vary from a Post It to a poster board. Include exactly how you'd like for things to go down while keeping in mind that even after a million years, we're still pretty much playing this birthing thing by ear. List who will be in the delivery (or operating) room, who will be allowed to visit. Whether or not you want your child circumcised. Decide who will be called on in case you cannot vouch for yourself. Define anything that might go against your religious beliefs. And also, whether or not you plan to breast feed. Go over this plan with your doctor and your partner. Then, as the time gets closer go over it once more with your doctor. Make sure the hospital you are choosing doesn't have any policies of which you are unaware. Some don't allow photography of the birth, others keep the newborns in the nursery as opposed to the mother's room. These are not the kind of things you want to find out at the last minute. Plan accordingly.

2. Set up help.
   Lots of well intentioned friends and family will be stopping by with their well wishes. They may mean well, but the are mainly bringing mayhem, germs, and yet another reason you have to get out of bed. Commission someone who will not get on your very last nerve to see to things that aren't imperative for you to handle personally. Have Mom, mother-in-law, best friend, second favorite cousin, the mailman, whoever close at hand for all the chores that will rear their ugly heads when you are least able to tackle them. Even if you can't have someone stay with you, have a few people on call that can pull you away from the edge if you need a hand.

3. Prepare the house in advance.
   Pre wash all the linens. Fold and lovingly put away all those tiny onesies that would otherwise (and will later) end up crammed in the wrong drawer. Set up the nursery. Do a deep and thorough cleaning on the whole house (maybe even pay to have it done professionally). Clean out the fridge, do all the grocery shopping, make ahead a few meals and freeze them for easy dinners later on. Stock the house on anything that running out of would merit a trip to the store (i.e. toilet paper, detergent, Ben and Jerry's), Important yet overlooked, make certain you and your partner both know how to correctly install the car seat.

4. Pack your hospital bag.
   If nothing else, see to this meticulously and ahead of schedule. A Boy Scout Badge worthy bag will make the difference on how much you love your husband for the next 1 to 3 days.
   
   INCLUDE:
   
   Copy of Your Birth Plan
   
   Pajamas (and a nightshirt in case of a C-Section, catheter, etc,) New ones or decent ones you are willing to get soiled. There will be bleeding and maybe even accidents.
   
   Socks- hospital floors are the yuckiest place on Earth. And cold.
   
   Nursing Bra- Now is not the time to be in an uncomfortable bra. Your breast are going to be swollen and sensitive. You are also going to be trying to headlock a tiny person and get them to latch on. The less outside irritation the better.
   
   Camera with fully charged batteries, Babies care not for Kodak moments. They get here precisely when they want and not a moment later.
   
   Insurance Cards, ID, etc. Healthcare is a business. It is not unheard of for a doctor to send you home to retreive the proper documentation.
   
   A Good Book. Hey, there's a lot more downtime than action.
   
   Prepaid Phone Card- Not all hospitals allow long distance calls and cell phones can interfere with some medical equipment.
   
   List of Names and Numbers- You will want to call everyone you have ever known to tell them of your bundle of achievement and cuteness, but refrain. Stick to the important ones (in town relatives who you'll want to stop by, out of town relatives you want to hear it first from you)
   
   Hair ties, hair brush, comb. Look here, Bride of Frankstein. People are going to see you. You want to be as put together as possible for the pictures, the doctor, the interns, the nursing students, the janitor, your cousins, you Mom's best friend... you get it.
   
   Toothbrush and toothpaste- If you rely on the hospital one, you might as well use a twig and some wet sand.
   
   Deodorant, Lotion, perfume- Some sort of normalcy will be calming, try not to stray from hygiene routine.
   
   Moisturizer, Lip Balm- Dry Hospital air is cruel.
   
   Shampoo, Shower Gel- Something a little nicer than you use at home will keep your spirits up.
   
   Going home outfit- You will not fit into any pre-pregnancy clothes. Stick to the maternity stuff for now. The papparazzi will forgive you.
   
   Sanitary Pads- Worse period of your life.

Tips & Warnings

• See if you can't do some of the paperwork at the hospital ahead of time. You don't know when you'll go into labor or how long it will take. If you have to be in a hospital, better a bed than a waiting room.
• Use every last baby-free moment productively (or un-productively, depending). Being pregnant is a pain in the lower back, but after the baby's here, most of us would give our right pinkie finger to stick'em back in just to enjoy a long warm shower. Enjoy something luxurious; one last mani-pedi, a bubble bath, a day alone, a nap. You'll be grateful you did.
• Never turn down help. My girlfriend offered to do the laundry on our second day back from the hospital. She had a hamper in her arms before she could say 'fabric softener'. My sister bought me a box of diapers so big, my naive little heart almost burst. I offered my sincerest gratitude and nothing else. I am independent to a fault. I open my own doors, pay my own way. When I didn't have a ride to my ob/gyn I walked the 6 miles there and walked the 6 back. In the hospital, I'm known to change my own IV if you take too long. But even I know that you don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Lucite]

on 8/31/2008 Nice article,it prepares me for my future.

[Luckelady]

on 8/19/2008 Very funny. Some great lines, and many I could totally relate to, especially the advice about savoring every last moment of pre-birth time.