How to Choose The Right Care For Your Aging Parent

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Internet Access
Local Senior Living Directory
Telephone
Insurance Coverage Information

Step 1

First, do a cursory assessment of your loved one to determine what kind of services he/she might need:
- Does she have mobility issues? Does she need a walker, wheelchair, scooter, or help transferring from one to the other?
- Can he make it to the bathroom on his own? Any incontinence issues?
- Can she safely cook for and feed herself? Does she need help lifting or opening certain containers?
- Can he get in and out of the tub and shower safely? Does he need help bathing or washing and combing his hair?
- Is she able to dress herself, or does she need assistance? Can she handle special clothing items like shirts without buttons or shoes without laces?
- Is he still able to drive safely, or does he require transportation?
- Can she manage housekeeping chores like vacuuming, laundry, and changing the bed sheets, or does she need help?
- Is he exhibiting any memory problems? Confusion, wandering, having trouble finding the right words, forgetting names, having mood swings?
- Can she manage her own medications? Does she know exactly how and when to take them? Is there a danger of missing a dose, or accidentally taking an extra dose because she forgot that she already took the first?
Step 2

The answers to these questions largely determine which living situation is best for your loved one. Once you assess your senior's needs, you can start looking for facilities or in-home care companies which offer appropriate services to meet these needs (ask her doctor for recommendations).

If you're looking at in-home care, you can set up interviews with several different companies to compare them. If you're looking at Independent Living, Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing, or Memory Care, you can take a tour of the different facilities and then set up interviews so they can assess your loved one for admission eligibility to their community. Some of these places (especially the nicer ones) have long waiting lists, so place your loved one's name on several of them, not just your first choice.
Step 3

If your loved one wants to stay at home as long as possible, At-Home Care is a popular option. There are a variety of services available, from Meals on Wheels to skilled nursing care and Hospice. Many people start with hiring an in-home service for just a few hours a day or week, for some meal preparation, light housekeeping, transportation to doctor's appointments, and errands like grocery shopping.

As your parent or grandparent requires more care, you can add services like bathing, dressing, or dispensing medications. You can also increase the number of hours caregivers are present, such as 8 hours a day, shifts which rotate around the clock, or hiring a live-in caregiver (subscribe to an emergency alert service for the hours that your senior is home alone).

The benefit of At-Home Care is that your senior can stay in their own home for as long as possible. The drawback is that it can be lonely and expensive. Remember that you are paying for these services IN ADDITION to other everyday expenses like mortgage, utilities, and food.
Step 4

Seniors at home need a good support structure to help them maintain their independence. Don't let them become isolated or lonely. It's crucial that family, friends, and neighbors frequently check in to make sure everything is going OK. Be on the look-out for memory problems, mood swings, behavioral changes, confusion, uncharacteristic accidents, and other signs of dementia or a need for an increased level of care.

Even if you hire an at-home caregiver service, be sure to check in on them often. Seniors can easily become intimidated, manipulated or abused by unscrupulous caregivers. As they become more dependant on people around them, they are also more vulnerable to scams or being taken advantage of. Have a strong network of family, friends and neighbors who visit and check in on them often, and watch for signs of fear or elder abuse.
Step 5

Having a elder relative move in with family is the most common option for seniors around the world, though it is less commonly practiced in the west. Whether or not this works for your family will depend on whether you are able to provide the level of care that your loved one needs.

This can be a healthy, end-of-life bonding experience, so long as the lines of communication are open and expectations are clear. For instance, an elderly parent must respect that this is YOUR house, and not try to take over. You have a right to parent your children, lead your family and run your household as you see fit. If you have children, a job, or other demands on your time, hiring a part-time caregiver or using a senior daycare or respite service can help lighten the load.
Step 6

Independent Living is an option for seniors who are still relatively mobile and can perform most tasks on their own, but want more social interaction and the security, comfort and convenience of extra services close at hand. Dwellings range from individual homes or condos in a senior complex, to a private apartment in an Independent Living community.

Though most Independent Living facilities include small kitchens in each dwelling, they usually offer the option of eating meals in a community dining room. They may also offer transportation to doctor's appointments and group outings, though some residents may still drive their own vehicles.
Step 7

Assisted Living combines the privacy of a homey apartment with an increased level of care options such as bathing, dressing, grooming, and transferring in and out of a wheelchair. Housekeeping, laundry, utilities (except phone and cable), transportation to doctor appointments, group activities, meals and snacks are all included in the rent. Most Assisted Living facilities are not permitted to have stoves or open flames (candles) in resident apartments, though microwaves are allowed. The level of care that is permitted in Assisted Living varies by state. For instance, some states allow caregivers to administer insulin, others do not.

Many Assisted Living facilities provide extra amenities such as an in-house beauty salon, library, swimming pool, recreation room, physical therapy, live entertainment, group activities, supervised outings, and in-house doctor and dentist visits.
Step 8

Memory Care facilities provide added security and safety for seniors with Alzheimer's disease or Dementia. Security features vary, but all are designed to prevent a confused resident from wandering off the grounds or getting lost. Care levels vary based on the needs of your loved one.
Step 9

Skilled Nursing facilities provide 24-hour medical care, similar to a hospital. Nurses and caregivers are on hand around the clock to provide pain management, therapy, and other medical services for long-term chronic conditions or end-of-life care. Meals, bathing, dressing and grooming are also provided.
Step 10

Continuing care communities offer a combination of independant and assisted living, skilled nursing and/or memory care, all within the same building or cluster of buildings. The benefit is that your loved one can graduate from one level of care to another without being uprooted and transplanted to a new facility each time.
Step 11

Hospice is an end-of-life service which helps bring comfort, dignity and support to the dying and their families. Services include pain management, caregiver support, and bereavement counseling. Each local Hospice is independently owned and operated, and families have the right to freely choose any service in their area. Hospice can come to your loved one's home, or to any Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing, or Memory Care facility, and is paid for by MediCare.