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Step 1
Assume you can do the asking. You might be the kind of person who is accustomed to being asked out, but this is a passive dating stance. You're giving up the chance to initiate an interaction--and maybe also the kind of people you would really like to date.
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Step 2
Say "no." Being assertive in dating also involves asserting your right not to date the wrong person. Your time is yours to spend as you choose, so claim that right. You should also expect to hear "no." Learning to be an assertive dater is also about giving other people the space to be assertive. Be willing to give and accept "no"--no to a date, no to a plan, no to a type of intimacy.
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Step 3
Develop your own plan. Once the two of you have agreed to a date, picture the date you would want to have and share that plan. It's not fair to expect someone else to plan the whole date, and it's not fair to you that you should do what your date wants all night. Come to a compromise on your two plans.
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Step 4
Arrive on the date under your own steam. Don't expect to be picked up or that you will be picking your date up. Again, no one person should ever be responsible for most or all of a date.
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Step 5
Go Dutch--assert yourself monetarily. Paying for your own meal (or other dating experience) is powerful way to establish your independence and a sense of equality between two people on a date.
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Step 6
After the bill is paid (down the middle), know what you want to happen next. If she suggests a walk through the park and you'd like to go, go--but, if you have an alternate plan or would like the evening to end, assert your right to expression.
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Step 7
Get in touch. Again, you may be used to waiting for him to call, but this is another situation where too much responsibility is often put on just one person. Assert yourself in communication--it will serve you well through all of your dating experiences.
