How to Buy Engagement Rings

Looking to commemorate your engagement with an engagement ring? The process of ring shopping can be confusing and overwhelming—but if you know what you're looking for and where to find it, you'll be sure to cut down on the stress considerably. Follow the steps below to get started on your ring hunt.

Things You'll Need

• Your soon-to-be fiancé(e) or a friend/relative (optional)
• Budget for your ring

Instructions

1. First off, decide whether you want to surprise your loved one with a ring. Many couples choose to go the traditional cinematic route, with the man purchasing a ring in secret and surprising the woman with it on a special occasion. However, more and more couples are choosing to either mutually discuss and agree to an engagement, or to have either the man or the woman propose verbally, and then go ring shopping together.Consider your loved one's feelings. Would he or she prefer a surprise? Or would he or she feel weird about not being able to help pick out the ring?

2. Now, find out what kind of ring your fiancé(e) would like to wear. If you are choosing the ring together, you can just discuss the ring openly. If you are surprising someone with a ring, try to discover his or her style. Does this person wear a lot of flashy jewelry? Or is his or her collection limited to a modest silver chain? If you think your partner is expecting a proposal, you might even want to drop hints to see what he or she likes. Observe what your partner says about another person's jewelry ("Oh, wow, my cousin's ring is beautiful! It's white gold...") or walk past a jewelry store window and casually inquire which ring your partner likes best ("I like that silver one with the princess cut diamond. How about you?").If you suspect that your partner may be preparing to propose to you and you would like to drop hints about your preferred ring, be gentle and subtle. Mention relatives or friends that your partner could consult for ring advice ("My sister Sarah knows what kinds of things I like...if you ever wanted to get me a present, you should ask her."). Some people choose to be more direct by leaving open webpages or magazine pages with a picture of their favorite ring displayed. Be aware, however, that your fiancé(e)'s budget may be limited, and it is not polite to demand jewelry that your loved one cannot afford.

3. If you've got a general idea in your head of what you're looking for, now is the time to get an idea of what you can afford. The usual two-months' salary rule is definitely old-fashioned, as more and more grooms realize that going bankrupt for the engagement ring is a poor precedent to future married life. Sit down and consider your monthly salary, your bills and expenses, your debt, and your financing options. Don't be afraid to be realistic about what you can afford. If your budget is small, that doesn't necessarily mean that you can't afford a nice ring that your fiancé(e) will absolutely love. If your loved one seems to really want a large stone but you don't know if you can afford it, consider a stone with more "table area," meaning that it's flatter and shallower so that it appears to have more surface area. If you want a high quality stone but can't pay the price, try for a stone that is just shy of a round number of carats (i.e., 0.82 instead of 1). Oftentimes, these stones look just as nice as the full-carat stones, but can be slightly cheaper.

4. Ask family and friends to recommend a good jeweler or store at which to shop. If no one has any ideas, look for a place accredited by the Jewelers of America or the Gemological Institute of America (GIA). Large chains like Zales or Jared's can offer sales and deals on rings. You might want to ask someone to come with you, particularly someone who is familiar with your fiancé(e)'s tastes.

5. When you arrive at the store, ask to see a variety of stones. Stones come in a variety of shapes, from the"round" to the "princess," so ask a salesperson to show you many shapes. You'll also want to consider the four C's: cut, color, clarity and carat. "Cut" is the way in which the diamond has been shaped with many different facets. A diamond can come in many colors, and some colors are more expensive than others. A stone's clarity indicates the quality of the stone's light refraction. "Carat" refers to the actual size of the diamond, and thus to the rarity of the diamond, since larger stones are harder to find. Thus, a high carat diamond will be more expensive.Inspect each stone with a loupe, a handheld magnifier that is available for use at most jewelry stores. Choose the best looking diamond within your price range, but don't pay more than you intended just because the more expensive stone is larger or clearer. Your fiancé(e) loves you for you, not because you can give him/her nice jewelry.Don't underestimate the appeal of nondiamonds, as well. Other stones can be less expensive, but just as beautiful. If you think your significant other isn't particularly attached to the idea of a diamond ring, ask the jeweler for some different stone options.

6. Once you've chosen the stone, choose the setting for the stone. Ask to see several settings, and inquire as to which setting is often used with the shape of your stone. A jeweler or salesperson will probably be glad to assist you in this process.

7. When you've chosen the stone and setting you want, make a purchase! Your finished ring may take up to six weeks to arrive, so if you're planning on a surprise proposal, don't plan on it happening that month.Most diamonds come with paperwork—a printed declaration of the diamond's clarity, color, carat, cut and shape, and sometimes even its designer or cutter. Some companies also provide certificates of origin, so that you can be sure your stone was not a blood diamond. Leo diamonds even come with their own portfolios, which can be viewed online as well. Keep these records for yourself, or to give to your fiancé(e) along with the ring.

8. You may choose to purchase engagement ring insurance. This insurance can be done through your renter's or homeowner's insurance, or through a special policy provided by your jeweler. In order to be covered, you'll need to provide the receipts for the ring, and to have it appraised (which may require a small fee).

Tips & Warnings

• Diamond rings aren't the only way to pledge your engagement. Consider matching necklaces, a bracelet, or just a simple gold or silver band. There is no rule that says you have to follow today's engagement trends—your only considerations should be your budget and the happiness of your fiancé(e) and yourself!

• Using a family heirloom—like your mother's engagement ring or your great-grandmother's marriage band—to propose can be a meaningful (and less expensive) way to propose. However, before you do this, consider the feelings of both your fiancé(e) and your family. Has your partner had his/her heart set on something in particular? Will your partner like the way this ring looks? Is your family attached to the ring and unwilling to give it up? Would they mind if you had the heirloom stone put into a new setting? Be sure of everyone's intentions and wishes before you give an heirloom as an engagement ring.

Resources

• The Knot's engagement ring builder