How to Prepare for a Spouse's Death

Dealing with the death of a spouse is perhaps one of life’s most difficult tasks. The situation becomes more complicated when the spouse’s death is impending. Although no one likes to discuss death, it’s beneficial to prepare for a spouse’s death in order to make the needed transition after death occurs. Facing the end together may be the best way to bring closure to all parties involved.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Give him his flowers while he's living. While brilliant funeral arrangements and eulogies provide some comfort for the family of the deceased, your spouse should feel the affection while his heart is still beating. Make your spouse understand the deep emotions you have for him by spending your time expressing your feelings. This is not the time to bottle up your emotions or let pride and jealousy dictate your actions. Your every day should be spent providing comfort and a sense of peace to your spouse.

2. Ask your spouse about her final wishes. Your spouse may feel more in control of her life if she's actively involved in planning her death. Issues like burial location and method should be discussed to give your spouse a sense of purpose, and an opportunity to be remembered in her own way. Consider visiting funeral homes and burial plots with your spouse to provide support for each other. Keep a list of individuals to be contacted upon the death of your spouse for easy access later.

3. Ensure your spouse has adequate insurance. Although life is ending for your spouse, it will continue for you and other family members. Examine current life and burial insurance coverage to determine if policies need to be amended or even changed. Carefully read the policies to understand your rights and responsibilities regarding filing deadlines and other claims processing issues. You should be made aware of all coverage plans so that arrangements can be made based on accurate asset information.

4. Take the time to review your spouse’s will. Although the allocation of property and holdings can be a touchy subject, it’s important to know where you’ll stand financially to help you adjust your current work situation, if necessary. This will also help alleviate the headache of dealing with other relatives who may feel entitled to specific memorabilia or even money after your spouse’s death. Have the will updated to reflect your spouse’s current wishes. Avoid pushing your spouse to make allocation decisions based on anger.

5. Develop a strong support system. Preparing for your spouse's death will take a toll on your well being. Since your spouse will need your support during this tough time, you must discover others that can provide you with comfort. Talk to family members and close friends about your feelings to avoid becoming too stressed. Join a support group for the added support of those that are currently dealing with similar issues.

Tips & Warnings

• Allow your spouse the opportunity to communicate his feelings regarding death openly.
• Avoid belittling your spouse or trivializing her impending death.