How to Live At Home While Going to College

The difficulty of this situation is largely dependent on the kind of relationship you have with your parents and how willing you are to be cooperative, even if they aren't.

This article is written for an audience of college students who have a rocky relationship with their parents but few options to move.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A Goal to Graduate
• A Car or Public Transportation
• Be Registered at College
• Have a List of Chores
• Be Involved in School

1. GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW
   
   Pick a major, register for classes, do your financial aid and do everything else required to get going in college. Don't let home distractions stop you.

2. GET A CAR OR USE THE BUS
   
   If either option isn't possible, offer to fill up your parent's gas tank once a week as a thank you for letting you use their car. You can also post an ad on your college's bulletin board looking to carpool.

3. TREAT YOUR PARENTS WITH RESPECT
   
   You might be thinking they don't deserve it, especially if you have a very rough relationship with them. But you must be willing to do this if you are going to be successful in school and live at home

4. BE FORGIVING
   
   Your parents are human. They will say and do stupid things and will make you angry. Forgive them just like you want someone to forgive you when you do something wrong. This doesn't require an apology from them. Forgiveness is a choice entirely dependent on you and your state of mind.

5. DO CHORES
   
   Whether or not you give your parents money to live with them, offer to help them do chores. Go out of your way and do things for them without asking. They will appreciate it and begin to see you as a responsible adult rather than the teenager that probably drove them crazy for four years.

6. DON'T TOLERATE ABUSE
   
   If your parents are abusive, don't live at home. Move to a school with a dorm. School is hard and being abused will hurt your ability to perform and put you in danger.

7. GET A THERAPIST
   
   If your parents were abusive and have changed their ways, and you feel you can forgive them and live with them, I recommend getting a therapist. Your school has councilors or you can get a private therapist.

8. APPLY FOR WELFARE
   
   You are eligible for a certain amount of assistance, such as food stamps, while you are a single college student up until a certain again, usually 21. Use the assistance to keep yourself independent from your parents. Offer to buy them groceries once or more a month. They will appreciate the contribution.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't feel you are living off the system. You are a college student looking to better yourself. Would you turn down a college scholarship? No, so don't think you are doing something wrong by applying for and accepting assistance.
• You may be eligible for medical assistance as well, which could pay for therapy if you struggle with issues of abuse, college stress and anxiety.
• If you are being hurt, seek help. Don't accept abuse as a normal part of life. A transition from an abusive situation to a situation of normalcy will be hard and challenging. But it is possible to recover and be successful in your college career and beyond.

Resources

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• Search for a Community College
• The Free College Councelor
• Free Application for Federal Student Aid
• Scholarships

[amylaine]

on 8/4/2008 Great article.