How to Handle a Bossy Child

All kids do it at one time or another, and as a parent, sitter, or teacher it is hard to know the right way to deal with it. It is bossiness and every child likes to exercise her inner "boss." So, what can you do when your child suddenly becomes Ms. Know-It-All? Well, the first thing you do is relax and know that you are not the only person dealing with this situation and then you take action.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Observe your child. Find out when your child is more prone to becoming bossy. Is it with other children or with adults? Is it when there is inadequate supervision or when your child is around a large group she does not know well? See how others react to the bossy behavior. Do they laugh, which can encourage the behavior, or do they give in to the demands?

2. Act right away to correct your child's behavior by either removing her from the situation immediately or having her sit in a time-out. If you find that adults think the bossiness is "cute," ask them not to react to the behavior because you are working on correcting it.

3. Similarly when your child bosses other children, ask the children to not do what your child is asking. This will only feed into her feeling of being in control and in power.

4. Talking to your child can also be quite helpful. Find out what your child thinks about her peers and other adults.

5. Talk to your child's teacher about her day, and ask who she plays with most of the time, and find out if your child is being isolated because of the bossiness. If so, then you know that others have noticed the problem, too.

6. Do not let the bossy behavior stop you from having other children over to play. Just make sure they are being well supervised.

7. When you notice your child getting bossy, you need to say something in order to point out what is going on to your child. Chances are she has gotten into a habit and may not even realize what she is doing.

Tips & Warnings

• Role play with your child how she should treat others.
• Role play with your child where you are the "bossy" child, and then ask her how she felt. Then explain that is how she is making others feel.
• Never embarrass your child in front of friends. Pull her aside to talk with her one-on-one when she is acting bossy.

Resources

• Dr. Spock - Bossy Granddaughter Has No Friends

[msopinion]

on 11/7/2009 Great Article! 5*

[Merriment]

on 5/1/2009 Good tips for dealing with a bossy child!