How to Deflect an Unwanted Pass From the Opposite Sex

Most people hate confrontation, and there is no worse type than that which is often experienced during the dating process. Everyone has at one time or another had to deflect an unwanted pass from the opposite sex. It can be embarrassing, frustrating, and in some instances even dangerous if the situation isn't handled carefully and with a great deal of finesse.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Be polite. Everyone deserves a certain amount of common decency until he proves otherwise through inappropriate or disrespectful actions. Whether the individual is someone you would normally be interested in or not, there is no need to be insulting or thoughtless in responding to him.

2. Smile. Even bad news is easier to handle when it is delivered with courtesy and warmth.

3. Give the person a reason for your disinterest. Hopefully, it can be the truth: You are already involved with someone, you aren't dating at all at the moment or you just ended a relationship. It is even O.K. to simply say that you aren't interested, as long as you do it politely and in an non-hurtful manner. However, if the reason for your lack of interest is that you don't find the person attractive, spin the response with some finesse, rather than risking hurting her feelings. Tell her you are re-evaluating the type of individual you want to date and you simply aren't ready to move forward. Say you don't think you are right for her.

4. Try humor to disarm an individual who just won't take no for an answer. Joke yourself out of the situation as quickly as possible and make a quick getaway. Tell him you hear your mom calling, or that you are on your way to serve out your jail sentence. Be quick with a witty response that is funny enough to leave the person wondering if he was really rejected.

5. Just say "no." But do it politely. Then leave the area immediately, so you don't have to offer any more information.

6. Tell the individual who persists in pursuing you that you have treated her with respect and that you expect the same. Ask her politely--but firmly--to please move on.

7. Seek assistance from the nearest friend, cop, bouncer or whoever might be able to help you extricate yourself from the situation if the individual refuses to leave you alone. Unfortunately, there are a few jerks in the world who refuse to take "no" for an answer until they are forced to do so.

Tips & Warnings

• Treat everyone as you expect to be treated.
• Stay away from individuals who have made unwanted advances in the past.
• When you aren't in the mood to deflect passes, don't put yourself into situations and places where they are likely to be lobbed at you (such as parties, bars or nightclubs).
• If the "fight or flight" instinct kicks in, listen to it and get away as quickly as possible.
• Don't be rude. If you run into a real jerk, an improper response could quickly escalate into a dangerous situation.