How to Decide When a Romantic Relationship Is Over

In every romantic relationship, there comes a time when you have to figure out whether to move forward to the next step. . .or to move on. Sometimes it's obvious and sometimes it's very, very complicated. This article is to help you through those times when it's very, very, complicated.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

What Do You Want?

1. Write down the answers to the following questions:1. What is your ideal romantic relationship for this time in your life?2. What is your ideal romantic partner like? (Be as detailed as possible)3. What do you want to learn from your romantic relationship?

2. If answering these questions is difficult for you, think about people whose relationships you admire. What qualities do they have?

3. Of course nothing, and no one, is perfect. But if you have an idea of exactly what you want, it will be a lot easier to see what kind of compromises you can (and cannot) make.

What Do You Have?

4. Complete each sentence:1. When I am with my partner, I feel . . . . 2. This relationship is like my ideal relationship because. . . .3. This relationship is not like my ideal relationship because. . . . 4. My feelings for my partner are. . . .5. Being single means. . . .

5. Read over your answers. If you find that your relationship is not much like your ideal, that could be a sign that your relationship is over. If you generally feel negative about your partner, or around her/him, then you have another sign that your relationship is over. If you're terrified of being single, that doesn't mean you should stay in an unhappy relationship. You're going to have to be single to find your ideal partner.

6. If you're still struggling, try a good old pros and cons list. Do separate lists for your partner and for your relationship. Notice not only how many pros there are for each list, but how easy (or difficult) it was for you to think of them.

Where Do You Want To Be?

7. Let's say you've answered all the questions, filled in all the sentences and you still don't know whether to end the relationship. If possible, find a trusted friend and discuss it with him or her. Voicing your thoughts may point you in the right direction. If that's not an option, ask yourself this:If your partner broke up with you tomorrow, how would you feel?

8. If the idea fills you with relief, then you know that your relationship is over.

9. If the idea makes you want to cry, then you know you have to work on improving your relationship.

Tips & Warnings

• Trust your instincts.

Resources

• Advice on Breaking Up

[asmeninas]

on 9/23/2008 Wow! This really helped me know if I should end my relationship! I realize now that I need to move on with my life. Thanks!