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Step 1
Calm down and speak only in a even, steady voice. Communication cannot happen if you are screaming at one another.
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Step 2
Remove yourself for a cooling off period if you or your spouse cannot lower your voices. Step away from the argument for at least 15 minutes and use that time to calm down.
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Step 3
Identify the argument details. Often, you will be arguing with your spouse over something that you actually agree on. As you cool off, figure out where you disagree.
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Step 4
Go to your spouse with the intention of hearing them out. Keep your mouth shut and your ears open to what they have to say.
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Step 5
Find a compromise that you both can agree on after your spouse has stated their case. Common ground can be found in any situation. Foster cooperation from your spouse by offering your concession first.
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Step 6
Commit to your spouse that you are turning over a new leaf as far as communicating better. Let them know that you wish to stop arguing and that you will do your part to do so. Ask how you can help to avoid future arguments and actually listen to the answer.
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Step 7
Follow through on your promises even when your spouse may not. Often your calm demeanor will help them to change course and adopt your approach instead. This is a process that takes a bit of time, so patience is key.
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Step 8
Apologize with sincerity after arguing with your spouse. Express your love and respect for them and let them know that you are working toward trying to avoid the arguments in the future.














Comments
favefive said
on 7/30/2008 Excellent suggestions!