Things You'll Need:
- Private investigator
- Binoculars
- Access to phone, bank, possibly email records
- Car (for trailing)
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Step 1
Not all men trust their instincts, so you'll have to work even harder to trust what you do feel. Take some time out from work and sports and listen to your gut. If your wife is acting strangely--coming home late, wearing a new perfume, or is suddenly much slimmer and happier--then yes, you are probably on to something.
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Step 2
Go through records. This means phone (cell and land line), bank accounts, and possibly email. However, be careful here. Joint accounts are obviously fine, but your cheating wife has likely been hiding her philandering ways in a separate account. Please check the privacy laws in your state for more information on what is allowed and not. She could slap you with a suit if you break the law because of your jealous rage. Remember, if this thing goes to court, you want the judge--or jury--on your side.
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Step 3
Hire a private investigator. OK, so now you have some evidence: four mysterious calls to someone in Fresno, each lasting more than an hour, in the wee hours of the night. This is a record from your wife's cell number, all from that week she was away on business. Or maybe you found someone else's briefcase in the backseat of your car. Maybe your neighbor congratulated you on your new sports car, but you drive a mid-sized sedan. Hire the dick.
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Step 4
Get cracking. This means having the investigator trail your wife after work, on business trips, to the gym, to her friends' and so forth. Don't hire an amateur. If you are going to do this, do it right--invest some bucks.
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Step 5
Control your anger when you find her with another man. This is critical and probably the hardest part for men. Take your rage out on anything besides another living being--hit a punching bag, your pillow, a bean bag chair. Do not be the architect of your own pain and suffering and ultimate demise by kicking this fellow in the cajones (which is what he deserves, yes). If you see your wife with another man, immediately leave the room and prepare yourself for the talk.
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Step 6
Try to talk it out with your wife. She may feel terrible about what happened. She probably still loves you desperately and just wanted more attention (physical or emotional) than you were providing. Assure her you will be there for her; consider going to counseling, at least for a year. But if talking doesn't work, there isn't much you can do but move on.
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Step 7
Move on when appropriate. You may have children and or property with this woman. That is why you, of course, don't want to act rashly (as much as possible) in dealing with the dissolution of your marriage. Whatever you do, don't tell your kids about their mother's cheating ways. Do not mirror her, either. Guard your kids as much as possible. Never keep them from their mother. Go for joint custody whenever possible. That's right: joint custody. For guess what: your wife cheated on you, not the kids. Don't speak ill of her. Always build up the cheating spouse to your children, or they will be truly scarred for life. But guess what: now you have a life, a new life. So go rock that body at Miami Beach, and go find Miss Right.
Comments
uletaphart said
on 10/24/2009 I KNOW THAT HOE IS CHEATIN ON ME!
patmurphy said
on 7/10/2009 Use a keylogger on your computer to capture what is being done there.
Add a GPS device to her vehicle or look at Google's free GPS for phones.
Check the cell phone for text messages that have not been erased. There are devices to copy SIM cards. Make a copy and insert the card into your own phone.