How to Discuss Sex with Your Teen

The days are long gone when a simple date consisted of a movie, a soda, and a kiss good night. Weather or not parents approve or disapprove the reality is teens are having sex. I believe parents have to take a sensible and realistic approach when discussing this with your child. I feel our teens can get hurt worse if a parent doesn't make it a point to discuss the once taboo topic with our teens.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Times have changed, people have not. It seems today teenagers are growing up twice as fast as their parents generation did. However, when it comes to teenagers dating and having sex, it is an issue that a parent must address. It seems teens today know more than their parents and it shows. I feel what teens fail to understand is that "Sex" is a very powerful drug. Sex is all about intimate feelings, physical contact, and in some cases even feelings of love. Although, I believe a 15-16 year old teen is not in love. At 15 or 16 years of age a teen probably doesn't know how they really feel. Teen Sex is more about the physical satisfaction that one receives, it has nothing to do with deep emotional love.

2. Most teens feel that as long as they are careful and use precautions that sex is ok and nobody gets hurt, how wrong they are. Just because no pregnancy results from casual sex that doesn't mean the experience won't carry a deep emotional hurt for many years to come when the relationship sours. It is a waste of breath in this day and age to tell your teens not to have sex. Actually, if you take that approach you may drive them further away and they will do it any way.

3. I believe in taking the approach of discussing sex openly with your son or daughter around age 15. It should be explained that if sex is initiated too early in a relationship especially where no emotional love exists the end result could be devastating. You need to make your teen understand, if they make the choice to start having sex than consequences can result. What I am referring to is if one of the parties really has feelings for the other and it isn't mutual, the relationship will eventually break up. The hurt and mental pain that can result for either the guy or girl can effect you for many years of your life. Keep in mind young teens have no intention of getting married any time soon and 99.9% of the time a girls first love will not be the man she will marry. I believe guys engage in sex just for what it is sex. Girls tend to engage in sex because they really believe their teen boyfriend loves them. many times it is the girls that end up getting hurt. That is why your teen needs to understand the serious nature of what they are getting into before they do it. There is no worse feeling than to see your child hurt, it rips a parents heart out.

Tips & Warnings

• To all parents who have teenagers. You need to approach the topic of sex and talk to your child, make sure they understand how powerful the sex act is and the consequence that can follow. Tell your child you love them so much, that is why you need to have this discussion with them. If you use that approach, I can guarantee your child will listen, it will bring you closer together. I have heard parents say so many times that if their kid is having sex they don't want to know about it. That is the worst position to take, I want to know what my kid is doing, why ? because I love them.
• Warning- Do not ignore the issue, it isn't going to go away. Don't be afraid to have these discussions with your child. This is all a part of parenting. Sometimes it is hard for a parent to come to the reality that their child is growing up.

[phoenix2681]

on 7/27/2008 Excellent article! Very much good info!