How to Handle a Spouse's Abrasive Ex

You may love your spouse, but dread dealing with his abrasive ex. When you have to have regular contact with her because of their kids or because they're still friends, use these strategies to handle her personality and limit the amount of time you have to spend with her.

Instructions

1. Interact with your spouse's ex as little as possible. If she calls often, sign up for "Caller ID" through your phone service provider and let her calls go straight through to the machine. Ensure your spouse is home whenever she's coming over to pick up the kids, for example, so you don't have to deal with her.

2. Ensure the kids and their belongings are ready so the ex won't have to stay long (or even get out of his car) when he comes to pick them up. Also be waiting on the porch when he drops the children off so they can simply hop out of the car.

3. Have a blunt conversation with your spouse if he doesn't understand why you dislike interacting with his ex. Give specific examples of her abrasive nature or the type of things she says to you in private and how it makes you feel. He may be able to talk to her and temper her behavior.

4. Realize that the abrasiveness is just part of the person's personality. Try not to take it personally unless you're doing something to provoke the behavior. If you're not, try to ignore the conflicts rather than dwelling on the negative encounters if you don't see the ex often.

5. Stay as upbeat as possible whenever you interact with the ex to let her know that her personality doesn't bother you. If she's being disagreeable just to get a rise out of you, she may change her tactic when she doesn't get the desired reaction.