How to Create a Self-Love Lifestyle

"Love yourself!" they proclaim. "You must love yourself before you love another! Self-love is the most important love of all!" "Sounds great," you say, "but how?" You know it's important. You want to love yourself. The only problem is, you're not exactly sure what loving yourself means. Self-love is often touted with esoteric language and meaningless clichés--thus I offer these practical tips to show you how to begin practicing self-love immediately. Let self-love prevail!

Instructions

1. Sleep right. In our workaholic culture, not only is lack of sleep common, it is often worn like a badge of honor. We hear stories about famous people--from Winston Churchill to Margaret Thatcher to Madonna to Jay Leno to Martha Stewart to Thomas Edison--who sleep, or slept, as little as 3 hours a night. We believe that we too could be more successful (and thus happier) if only we could do more, and we could do more if only we had more time, and we could have more time if only we slept less. Sadly, this math adds up to nothing more than exhaustion and elevated physical and psychological health risks. While individual sleep needs vary, most adults need between 7 and 8 hours each night.

2. Move your body. Find a form of movement that you enjoy and do it daily. You don't need to run a marathon or lift heavy weights, or even sweat, for that matter, but you do need to move. Put on some music and dance around your room, take a walk at lunch, roller skate, paddle a boat, shoot hoops, jump rope, stretch. The more you move your body, the more you will learn to love it.

3. Connect to the Divine. Pray. Meditate. Go into nature. Read poetry as the sun rises. Gaze at the stars. Do something daily that reminds you of the fact that you are just one tiny particle in a great, grand cosmos. You are both insignificant and essential. You are a perfect part of a magnificent whole. Connecting to that which is bigger than yourself humbles your ego, softens your spirit and puts you in a state of awe. You cannot love until you are awed. And you cannot be awed until you acknowledge the essential essence of everything.

4. Set yourself up for success and celebrate every step. If you were to teach a young child to ride a bicycle, you would not put her on a racing bike and demand that she win the Tour de France. You would give her training wheels and run behind her and hold her seat to balance the bike. And then, when she rode for five feet without your help, you would cheer like crazy. You would call those five little feet success, even if they ended with her crashing to the pavement. Give yourself equal support as you work toward your goals. Allow yourself to learn slowly and cheer every foot of your journey.

5. Ask for help. You cannot hold life's burdens alone. Seek help when you need it on everything from lifting a heavy box to pursuing a new career to losing weight to planting a garden. Talk to friends, consult professionals, read books, ask acquaintances. Love yourself by letting others show love to you.

6. Know the difference between self-love and self-indulgence. Self-love embraces you entirely, nurtures your whole being and remains centered in what is best for you over the long haul. Self-indulgence finds "errors" in your person, seeks affirmation from the outside world and is addicted instant gratification. Self-indulgence buys new clothes, has sex on a whim, drinks too much, reacts, stays in bed too long, avoids confrontation and quits when things get uncomfortable. Self-indulgence is chaotic and fickle. Self-love is centered and eternal.

7. Live below your means. Always spend less than you earn.

8. Banish your ego. Just as the ego is your source of pride and bravado, but it is also your source of loathing, judgment and shame. You cannot have one part of the ego without the other, so in order to build a lifestyle of self-love, you must release your ego entirely.

9. Tell the truth. We often exaggerate stories, twist the facts about our lives and keep secrets about our character because we assume that those around us will not accept us entirely. This is because we have not accepted ourselves entirely. In order to exhibit true self-love, you must always tell the truth.

10. Draw boundaries and say "no."

11. Close your heart and your mind to the bitterness, hatred, envy and foolishness of the world around you. Expose your sweet self only to people, activities and ideas that inspire, enlighten, support and nurture.