How to walk away from Mr. Wrong
If the man you are currently dating is afraid of commitment, prone to canceling plans at the last minute or unwilling to give you the emotional support you deserve, you might want to reevaluate what is keeping you in the relationship. Dr. John Gottman is a world renowned psychologist that lists the telltale signs of an unhealthy relationship as: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling and contempt. If your current relationship is replete with these signs, it may be time to gather your strength and walk away from Mr. Wrong.
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Instructions
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Create a strong support system before you break it off with Mr. Wrong. Tell your friends and family about your decision to end the relationship and ask them to provide moral support until you have recovered from the breakup. Ask them to call, make friend dates and send encouraging notes regularly, so that you are not tempted to isolate yourself or return to your unhealthy relationship.
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Commit to exercising three times a week for at least 20 minutes per session during the season of your breakup with Mr. Wrong. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise will improve your mood, keep your body in peak condition, increase energy levels and enhance your sleep. These benefits will help you to stave off depression, while getting your body in top shape to attract Mr. Right.
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Enroll in a class, join a hobby club or take up a new sport to keep your mind off Mr. Wrong. Refrain from obsessing over the good and bad times with your ex; it will only keep you emotionally attached to him in a negative way.
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Write yourself a letter that specifically details all of the reasons you are ending your toxic relationship. List all of the benefits of breaking up with Mr. Wrong, including the opportunity to meet the perfect man for your personality and lifestyle. Read this letter when you feel tempted to re-establish contact with your old flame, as it will reinforce your decision to walk away.
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Tips & Warnings
Join an official support group if you struggle with co-dependency or emotional dependency. This will help you to stay away from Mr. Wrong and do the inner work required to avoid unhealthy relationships in the future.
If Mr. Wrong has demonstrated violent or abusive tendencies, avoid breaking up with him in private. Choose a public place in which to deliver the bad news; this will keep you safe from possible attack.
References
- All About Love and Dating: How to Spot Mr. Wrong so You Can Make Room for Mr. Right
- TwoDay: Toxic Communication; Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D
- iVillage: How to Walk Away -- Once and for All, Advice from the Dating Doyenne; Sherry Amatenstein; 2001
- MayoClinic.com: Exercise: 7 Benefits of Regular Physical Activity
Resources
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/liquidlibrary/Getty Images
