How to Let Your Young Adult Leave Home Without Becoming Depressed

As parents, the letting go of your baby eighteen-year-old can become very stressful and depressing. Here are a few simple tips for all parents, that will help keep the occasion of your child's new stage in life, and your new stage in life, a happy one.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• notebook or journal
• pens
• pictures
• tissues
• email address

How to Let Your Young Adult Leave Home Without Becoming Depressed

1. Before you have distance between you and your child, be sure to make yourself available to them for a month before they leave. Use this time to make contact with them, and talk to them. Do not let any unresolved issues cloud the next month. Assure them that you will be fine and mention a few of the activities in your life that you will be renewing after they leave for greener pastures. These could be: redecorating a room in the house, creating a new flower bed, building something for them to use when they visit, writing that novel you actually have notes for but never had the time to write, and so forth. Reassert in both your minds just how good a transition in life this time can be for both of you, if you keep a positive outlook.

2. Do not let thoughts plague you constantly about what bad things may happen. Write them down in your journal in a list. Leave space next to this for a list of all of the good things that may happen for both of you. Having it down on paper removes the constant rewinding your mind will do. It is permanently on the paper.

3. If you feel like crying; cry. That is the way your body copes with this very emotional time. Suppressing will only cause depression.

4. Bring out the old photographs and relive other special moments in your child's life with them. Offer for them to take a few for themselves. It will help them to cope with the homesickness they will definitely go through, which in turn, will ease your worry about their pain.

5. If you do not already have an email in place, have your child help you to set one up that you can access, and they can easily send messages to. It is much less expensive than a phone call, and will be the easiest venue for them to let you now how they are doing.

6. Once your child has left, do not completely distract yourself with work in order to forget about the loss you feel. Accept the loss as a possibility of great things for your child to become. This is not a loss to you. It is the occurrence of what you have always wanted: your child to become a healthy, happy, adult with a future.

7. Do not clean out their room until you are ready. Instead, occupy your time with the things that you told your child that you would be doing once they left. You should have something good to tell them in the following weeks that will assure them that you are okay. Enjoy the new freedom a little. It isn't a sin to do so. You have done the first stage of your life as a parent. Look toward the future.

Tips & Warnings

• You will always be your child's parent. Let them experience and use what you have taught them.
• Do not abuse the email sending. They will let you know what is too often.
• Just because your child is moving, it does not mean they will not ask for help with their laundry, auto care, and advice.

[BobbiK]

on 1/17/2009 Great article. I am struggling with "losing" my own 18-yr old son. But you're right - this is what it's all about. We give birth and spend the next years forming them into a great adult who emerges into the world with enormous possibility. Thanks!