How to Be a Happy Family

To be part of a thriving, happy family takes commitment and enormous effort. You can't take an inactive role, assume a passive attitude or adopt a do-nothing posture. On the contrary, to have a happy family you must put your family first, not because you have to, but because you find joy in doing so. Here are seven ways to create a happy family.

Things You'll Need

• A cheerful attitude

Instructions

1. Create a Family Identity.
   My friend told me that from an early age her mother had a saying, "We're not like the average family." And it was true. Looking back my friend saw that they may have been somewhat dysfunctional, but at the time, by the way her mother said it, as well as what she felt, she got the message that her family was special. Special as in "a cut above," "grade A," "prime." She felt that she was blessed to be in her family.

2. Create a Family Motto.
   To create a distinct family identity you might talk about what it means to be a family and how special you are to each other. Reinforce that by displays of affection and tender care. Think about a family motto. What would yours be? Write a family vision statement. Describe family goals and dreams.

3. Play Together.
   Whether it's a board game before bedtime, a game of jacks on the sidewalk or a robust game of tag, playing as a unit creates balance and is a safety net that keeps our families close under the tight rope of hectic schedules. Playing deepens family bonds. Answer this question: What does my family like to do for fun? Whether it's a planned activity or spur of the moment goofing around, adding a dose of play every day makes for a happy, upbeat family.

4. Treat your Family Well.
   How we treat the members of our family does matter. Our attitude, each and every day, counts. If your loved ones let you down, don't snarl at them, accuse them, intentionally hurt them, turn your back or walk away from them. Always treat them lovingly. Take the high road and even though you're disagreeing, you can always be kind.

5. Willingly Patch Things Up.
   Apologizing has been grossly overlooked as one of the best ways for healing old and new misunderstandings and wounds. Apologizing keeps complaints from taking hold. When you apologize, you feel better. If you find it difficult to apologize in person, begin by writing apology notes. Admitting your flaws and that you messed up is a measure of personal integrity

6. Switch Gears.
   Do something unexpected. Treat your family to a midweek swim at the local pool, play hide and seek at the park, put on music and sing along. Be flexible in your responses.

7. Comfort One Another.
   Even if you live in the happiest of families, you and your loved ones will face sorrows, heartaches, disappointments and other burdens. When one family member is upset, sad or disappointed, it lessens the grief when it's shared. You can't take all of life's pain away; you can't right all the injustice, but you can lighten the load by standing with each other.

Tips & Warnings

• Read my book: "Wonderful Ways to Be a Family" (see Resources).

Resources

• Wonderful Ways to Be a Family