How to Stop Swearing in Front of Your Kids

Swearing in front of your children teaches them poor communication skills.

Even though swearing helps relieve frustration and makes people feel as though they fit in, people who swear frequently may appear unintelligent, abrasive, immature and lacking in emotional control. If you're a parent and swear in front of your children, you're teaching them offensive words and modeling that swearing is a normal and appropriate way to speak. Learning how to curb your swearing can help protect your child from developing this negative habit.

Difficulty:

Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Examine your reasons for swearing and why you want to change. Psychologist Jay Uhler recommends completing an exercise to help you prepare for behavior change. Write down the behavior -- swearing -- that you want to change. List all of the beliefs you have about swearing, such as making you look more self-confident or is too hard to stop. Identify all of the feelings you have about swearing, whether it reduces your stress or makes you feel more powerful. Determine the benefits -- such as being a better role model for your children -- that you expect to make if you stop swearing in front of them.

2. Make a commitment to stop swearing in front of your children. Changing an ingrained behavior requires a great deal of effort and practice. If you don't really want to stop swearing, you're unlikely to stick with it.

3. Replace swear words with more original and less offensive alternates. President of the Cuss Control Academy James V. O'Conner suggests replacing "B.S." with "lie" and "nonsense" or "hogwash." Instead of saying "Who gives a flying f***" say "I don't care" or "It really doesn't matter." If you think of alternative phrasing ahead of time, it's easier to use clean language around your children when you feel like swearing.

4. Train yourself to use better phrasing. Stop using swear words in your thoughts. If you accidentally slip up and swear, say the more polite word or phrase you would rather use afterward. Identify what triggered you to swear -- such as feeling especially angry -- so you can avoid that trigger in the future.

5. Share your commitment to stop swearing in front of your children with family and friends. If other people know you plan to stop swearing, it helps hold you accountable.

References

• Cuss Control Academy; Frequently Asked Questions; James V. O'Conner
• Jordan Rich; How to Change Behavior Patterns: Completing Your New Year's Resolutions; Jay Uhler
• Cuss Control Academy; Ten Tips for Taming Your Tongue; James V. O'Conner