How to Build Your Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is a very common experience that it seems everyone has gone through. For most, having a negative self-image can equate to just having a bad day. However, for some, low self-esteem is a daily struggle. The following article provides tips and suggestions for helping you overcome your negative image and build your self-esteem.

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Motivation

Instructions

1. Stop the negative thoughts! The term "self-fulfilling prophecy" in relation to self-esteem basically states that whatever you believe about yourself, whether it be accurate or totally off base, becomes true. If you constantly tell yourself you are stupid or that you will never amount to anything, you will in turn act as such, which validates this opinion of yourself and just keeps the cycle of a negative self-image spinning. So, make a habit out of saying positive things about yourself and use the self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage.

2. Learn to appreciate yourself! Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and ideals that define who we are and can make us unique. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and less on the ones that you dislike. You can better accomplish this by taking up hobbies and projects that you can do that will make use of your strengths. Additionally, by starting on some projects that emphasize your good traits, it will keep you busy so you'll end up spending less time thinking about your weaknesses.

3. Avoid making general assumptions about yourself! We are all composed of a variety of personality traits and features. Who you are cannot logically be based on one aspect of ourselves, so saying you are a bad person just because you forgot to help out a friend or saying that you are unattractive just because you have webbed toes can't possibly be a factual statement. Keep limitations at their limits. So you've got webbed feet, but you've also got a great smile.

4. Learn how to take a compliment! One thing that can hinder self-esteem is making excuses for someone's reasons behind giving you a compliment. If you find yourself thinking something like "They are just saying that because they don't want to hurt my feelings" or "They have no idea what they are talking about", then stop it. Usually when you are complimented about something, it is a highlight of your good qualities. Accept the compliment and take a minute to enjoy it.

5. Don't dwell on your mistakes! Mistakes are a part of life that everyone is going to make. Think of the one person you know who seems to have it all together and trust me, they've got plenty of mistakes in their life. The whole point of mistakes is to learn what works and what doesn't, so literally look at mistakes as a learning experience. Constantly thinking about the mistakes you have made and basing who you are on them will do you no good. Instead, look at ways to learn from them.

6. Lend someone a hand! Helping others typically results in a positive feeling of self-worth. It generally just makes you feel better about yourself. A good way to work on building your self-esteem would be to go help someone out; offer a shoulder to a friend in need or do some volunteer work.

7. Rework your self-perception! If someone suffers from low self-esteem, it is pretty much a guarantee that they view themselves much more negatively than others view them. Talking to friends and family members about your self-esteem issues can give you insight as to what others think of you and you will probably be quite surprised by the differences. Take what your friends and family tell you into consideration. You may come to realize that you're not near as unattractive as you think you.

8. Talk it out! In addition to talking about your self-consciousness with people closest to you showing you how your perception can differ from others, it also has other benefits. For one thing, you will probably find that you are not alone, as low self-esteem is a very common issue that is dealt with. Just knowing that you aren't the only one going through it can put you more at ease and can help bolster your drive to improve your self-image. Plus, discussing your fears can rally support from family and friends, which is a good motivational tool.

9. Evaluate yourself! If you just can't seem to stop worrying about the things you consider unpleasant about yourself, then take a more in-depth look at them. Write down all of the things about yourself that you don't like; whether they are physical attributes or habits (i.e., my butt is too big, I'm too lazy). Next, write down why you think it is such a negative attribute. Really focus on this part. Do you think it is a negative aspect about yourself because someone told you so? Is it because it has impacted your life in a bad way? Is it because it doesn't fit with the media's idea of a particular image? A lot of times, we draw negative images of ourselves based on another person or group's perspective, which is an inaccurate view. Take the time to evaluate where this negative impact is coming from and ask yourself if it is really is such a bad attribute. You may find that your butt isn't too big at all; instead, it just accentuates your figure.

10. Make changes in your life! Using the list you made in the previous step, you can make changes to various aspects of yourself that you don't like. Let's say one of the negative attributes you wrote down was that you are too lazy. While examining why you feel you are too lazy, you discover that it is because you don't get a lot of things accomplished; you have unfinished projects, missed deadlines, and missed out on opportunities because of it. Instead of wallowing in your laziness and putting yourself down because about it, take steps to change it. This can give you a sense of accomplishment which is good for anyone's self-esteem.

11. Don't try to be perfect! Aiming for perfection is a lost cause because there is no such thing. Nobody is perfect in the eyes of everyone else, so by trying to be perfect you may just be setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, seek to accomplish goals. They are much more realistic, much easier to reach, and can do wonders for your self-esteem.

Tips & Warnings

• Improving your self-esteem can't be done overnight. Ultimately, when you try to build up your self-image, you are training your brain to think about yourself in a more positive light.

• For a lot of people, low self-esteem and depression go hand in hand. If you are constantly miserable and can't seem to develop a positive self-esteem, look into speaking with a counselor.