How Not to Be Shy Around Girls

There's no need to be shy around girls.

Whether you're Mr. Personality or Mr. Quiet, girls can make you nervous. And you're not alone. But with a little guidance, you can actually enjoy yourself around the opposite sex.

Instructions

1. Take note of her body language before you try to strike up a conversation with a girl at a party. Does she seem content to be sitting alone, or uncomfortable? If it's the latter, she will most likely be thankful for your approach. More often than not, people at a party are looking for someone to talk to. That's why they came! Approach girls when they are alone at a party or dance. It will be much easier than walking up to a group of girls. After all, they have each other to talk to. (If you are called over to a group, of course go for it.)

2. Think of getting to know girls with no other agenda. Take dating--or how you can get a girl to date you--off the table. Simply try to get to know each girl that you meet. You will find that learning about people is fascinating, as everyone is unique. Even if you don't end up dating a particular girl, gaining a friend or just learning about someone new and different can be a huge joy.

3. Focus on giving. Stop wondering what the girl might be thinking about you, and try to make her comfortable. After all she may be nervous, too. Put all of your effort into asking and learning about her. (Of course, you should answer questions she has about you, as well.) You'll be surprised how naturally the conversation will flow when you are not thinking about yourself.

4. "Listen and respond." Will Smith delivers this line in the movie "Hitch," and many boys need this simple advice. When you've asked the girl a question, be sure to actually listen to her when she answers. You may find her answer so interesting that you have to know more, and she will appreciate that interest. Think about how you feel when someone is riveted by your words. Anything can happen when you listen! You may learn something new, hear a funny story, or just become genuinely more interested in the girl.

5. Keep the conversation light. Avoid giving too much information. If a girl asks you something about yourself, in your effort to let her into your life, you might offer up too much information. Talking about deep subjects may scare some girls. When you first meet a girl, it is not necessary for her to know everything about you. Most likely, she wants to know you; she just doesn't want to know it all at once.

6. Try not to drone on and on. A conversation should be like a tennis match, with each player having a turn. If you start to feel you've been talking about yourself too long, just apologize and ask something about her. Everyone appreciates honesty. She will feel so much better, especially if she has a tendency to be too long-winded as well.

7. Be humble. Don't be afraid to let her know there's something you are not so good at, or to talk about a weakness of yours. Boys (and men, for that matter) often think that girls want them to be without fault. If you are dishonest about your flaws, you will only come across as artificial and prideful, because no one is perfect. If a subject comes up that reveals a weakness of yours, admit it. She will not only admire your honesty, but feel more at ease about her own flaws. Remember, she is not perfect either. Soon you'll be completely comfortable around girls and forming friendships--some of which could lead to deeper relationships.

Tips & Warnings

• Girls are not looking to be impressed, just listened to, respected and approached with honesty.

• Don't offer your flaws on purpose to seem humble. Just let the conversation flow naturally.

• Don't ask a girl to dance if you've never spoken to her before. Dancing can be awkward, especially slow dancing, and she will be more comfortable if she has at least gotten to know you a little bit first.

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish