How to get out of a locked cemetery after hours

This is a little tongue in cheek, but it did happen to me once. I got locked in a large historic cemetery after the stand-in gatekeeper decided to go home early when he thought there was nobody left inside and locked up for the night. Here are some ideas if it happens to you.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Check the gates, signs posted at entrances and any office or maintenance buildings for a telephone number of security or a custodian. Be aware that some cemeteries are staffed by volunteers so if it is very late at night and you cannot determine if the number listed is a private residence or an official number, go to step 2.

2. If your vehicle is locked in but it is possible for you to climb over the gate, nearby walk-in businesses such as stores or bars may know who to call. You are probably not the first person this has happened to.

3. If all else fails, call 911. The sheriff or police department will almost certainly have access to keys for municipal cemeteries, and many private and church cemeteries also entrust local law enforcement with keys for emergencies.

4. If you are really and truly stuck - no cell phone, cannot climb over the gate, no businesses or public telephone nearby etc. - park your car near the main entrance, lock yourself in and make yourself as comfortable as possible. If you are on foot and relatively fearless, you may want to consider a walk around the perimeter of the cemetery to see if there is a gap in the fence or wall which you can squeeze through (but see my first warning below).

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient. If you have had to call 911 you may not be very high on their list of priorities, especially if it's a holiday or weekend night.
• Stay calm. A cemetery can seem like a scary place to be stuck in at night but zombies, vampires and ghouls really do only exist in the movies.
• On a more somber note, be aware of your surroundings; if there is a gate opening on to a busy road or is visible from local stores or businesses, stay there. It's not the dead people you have to be careful of, but the occasional live one who might be lurking in the darkness.
• Be where you said you would be when they come to let you out. It's tempting for the more adventurous to go exploring but a keyholder could be there in a few minutes, even if they've told you an hour or more. If you're not waiting to be let out when they arrive, you could be stuck there until morning; they are certainly not going to appreciate a second call out in the same night.